Just feeling so tired and heavy of all the responsibilities and the world. Idk if it’s normal to be like that. If I am honest, I did not have any physical mental childhood trauma that should have shaped me to what I am today. For most of the people there is a reason for not fitting it. I don’t not have that reason. I have had a normal childhood and a very normal life yet I don’t connect to this world, yet i have thoughts of killing myself and getting free of this world. Its hard to make anyone understand because the question will raise as to WHY? WHY? WHY? And Why do u feel so? Oh ur only dramatic, ungrateful, you want attention, maybe u should pray more. Well I have tried talking crying praying thinking then not thinking, praying, everything that comes, i mighy be better for a lil while then it kicks again, the feeling of not fitting in, what’s wrong with me?
Trust me you are not alone thousands of people are going through same idk why we have to fit in and why our mind is pressurising us to fit in even it is so clear we don’t want to sometimes seeing so much people struggling and we are trying to convince our mind to play somewhere as a victim but surely comes out we are not we done with our minds by trying everything now it’s just exhausting and just want to separate our mind from us it will be so relaxing and sometimes want to do meditation but again a lazy overthinking mind comes around.
You may have endogenous depression. If your reason is only about not fitting in. It’s okay. Not everyone fits in. But that shouldn’t make you feel so bad.
That’s not the only reason but yeah
Somewhere it is movies playing the role in our mind to be a genius and do everything which in our hand and let us fool ourselves that you are not weak and make us overwhelm about it.