I've tried so hard and got so far
But in the end it doesn’t even matter
I had to fall to lose it all
But in the end
It doesnt even matter
I put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go

But in the end it doesn’t even matter!!

Exhausted

Wish I was invisible, 
No one needed to take my care,
No one to trouble me by stare;
No one to listen when I speak, 
No one to hear, when I'm weak.

Wish I was invisible, 
No reason to fake a smile,
No reason to walk an extra mile;
No reason to make me cry,
No reason for me to even try.

Wish I was invisible, 
No reason to pretend that I live,
Cause I only have pain to give,
No reason to search for love,
Peaceful there, in heaven above.

3am Thoughts

Feeling excited to off the day and travel to home 😊

Dreams

Which one likes.... 

Today I am 15years old and I already feel like nothing changes. I have good moments but if you asked me to tell you some of my memories all I could tell you is how my happy face is the only emotion I don't feel as much as I used to. I laugh with my classmates and I smile and same I love my family and that's true but in my heart I don't feel the love guiding the beat of my heart and the feeling of love I lost a long time ago. I hate my first boyfriend and I truly loved him I gave him all the attenchion I could give and the first time he broke up with me because I didn't show enough emotion but the question I have is how can I when pain is just a needle that makes you twitch for only so long till your used to it. So what am I a victim or the suspect.????

Stress

why i am so confused about my feelings for him because he is really nice and his all green flags and everything is just perfect but I still feel like nothing can be this Perfect??? I feel like he is not real and I will not believe that his real till I meet him because he is too kind, too beautiful, too honest to love me or even like me for that matter???? so I am not too sure if this is real I don't know if I am being Pessimistic or if this is how love feels like but I am so confused and not sure about anything with respect to them- So confused about my feelings for him that some days I just feel like it's not happening??? Everything is perfect but there has to be some bump right?? there has to be some hiccups for me to believe that it's going in the right direction??? I feel that if everything is so perfect which never has been feeling in my whole life, nothing has been more perfect than this right now and I feel like things are this easy for me then why am I not able to understand or feel the reality??? and intensity of this?? To understand why I am so confused about my feelings for him he is literally the best !!! I was less of an overthinker and I will just letting me and just enjoy while they last I am so confused and scared

Confusion

I have continue headache since a week 

Anxiety

Old songs 😍😍😍 

Was listening to "me tere ishq me mar na jaun kahi". How they wrote such lyrics 😍😍

Music

I have been talking to someone for about a month now, and we’ve hung out a couple times. I called out of work today to go hang out with this person today. I walked to their house just to be able to hang out, and it was 3-4 miles. Then we hung out at a park and some intimacy happened. We’re walking back to their place about an hour, hour and a half later because they just suddenly mentioned an appointment they had. So I said okay, we can head back so they don’t miss the appointment. Then they said their friends are forcing them to go watch a soccer game. I don’t even think it’s soccer season but I may be wrong. So I say okay, I’ll head home, which is roughly 30 miles away and no transportation. I go to message them a couple hours to let him know that I’m home and check up on the appointment because that’s the kind of person I am. All to find out: I’ve been blocked on instagram and Snapchat. And the worst part was I really cared for this person. I tried to be supportive and understanding and patient. But I was the only one making the effort to see this person. Said that they didn’t want to make it look like they were using me, but I feel used now. And the most frustrating part is that I was starting to care. I’m an epileptic so I try to always let the people I’m around know because I have to rely on them when I go into a seizure. And a lot of the times I’m ghosted. I’m hurting right now, but I do think I deserve an answer on why I was blocked because I put my all to this. 

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts