I've met people who are at very high earning posts but they do not want that job and merely continue with it because of the high pay. 

True, people still continue that job because of higher pay even though they don't want to perform those duties at job place.

Work

I want to earn 8 to 10 K money in india through online work is there any way to earn online basically i am 18 yrs old and in 12th class from medical stream

Money Problems

"Years ago, when I was backpacking across Western Europe, I was just outside Barcelona, hiking in the foothills of mount Tibidabo. I was at the end of this path, and I came to a clearing, and there was a lake, very secluded, and there were tall trees all around. It was dead silent. Gorgeous. And across the lake I saw, a beautiful woman, bathing herself. but she was crying...

I hesitated, watching, struck by her beauty. And also by how her presence; the delicate curve of her back, the dark sweep of her hair, the graceful length of her limbs, even her tears, added to the majesty of my surroundings. I felt my own tears burning behind my eyes, not in sympathy, but in appreciation of such a perfect moment.

She spied me before I could compose myself. But she didn't cry out. Instead our eyes held and she smiled, enigmatically, fresh tears still spilling down her cheeks. I was frozen. I knew nothing about this woman, and yet, as we stood on opposite sides of a pool of water, thousands of miles from my own home and everyone I had ever known, I felt the most intense connection. Not just to her, but to the earth, the sky, the water between us. And also to the entirety of mankind. As if she symbolized thousands of years of the human condition.

I wanted to go to her, to comfort her, to probe this feeling of belonging I had never encountered before. But I couldn't. Because I knew that if I spoke, if she spoke, that moment would be ruined. And I knew I would need the memory of that moment to carry me through the inevitable dark patches throughout my life.

And so I watched her lower her hand, turn, and slowly walk to the shore opposite me. The rest of her perfect form was gradually revealed to me, and I held my breath as I watched her disappear behind a copse of trees near the water.

I didn't follow her, in fact I turned around. I knew there was nothing else we could experience together that would be more perfect than that moment...and it still remains the most profound experience of my life"

Happy

Yeah I'm feeling lonely anyone talk to me 

Overthinking

I'm Class rep since a year, we're having elections again for this year n suddenly my roommate stood up against me... Her friends group is big where else I talk to everyone but don't make groups because I can't fake things like others... I've done everything all works properly I know I deserve being the CR... But now I think I won't because her friends will ofcourse vote for her n not me... I'm feeling bad about it that m responsible n deserving yet I'm going to lose it just like that.

Friends

I am being so rude to my parents and i hate that😭😭i don’t know what i am doing. I am going through a lot bcoz of other issues happening in my life and no one knows about it. I don’t want to let them know my pain. At the same time i really want to show my love towards them but i couldn’t. Trying to heal myself without hurting anyone. I am going to other place for my work next week i know i will cry thinking about my rudeness towards my parents when i am alone😭 my health condition and depression hitting me like anything. God why me always

Depression

It's 3:57 am and I should sleep now, I guess..?

3am Thoughts

I just want a person in my life who listen to me, understand me, who know who am I. Everyday keeping your feelings inside is not making feel good. I very eagerly want that person in my life. I can’t keep all the things inside me any more.


Lonely

Open Minded Versus Open Hearted

You learn something new everyday but the exciting thing is that you never know what you are going to learn until you feel that rush in your body and know that you have gained a new secret to the world. Today I was told something important. That there is a difference between having an open mind versus an open heart. I always knew they were different things but I never really thought about the difference and how big of a difference it actually is. 


You are expected to have an open mind about a lot of different things because of today's society but what about an open heart. For me of course this is extremely difficult. It's hard to have an open heart when to me it also means to be vulnerable to the pain of the world. You want me to trust and open up wide to the one thing that caused my heart to close up in the first place? If I would ever have to trust anything, the last thing would be this world. While I know this world has love and kindness in it, I am also not naive and know this world can cause so much pain and never think twice of who it hurts. You want me to love and trust you not to break my heart but I have heard those words before. I know better than to ever believe that lie again. I was torn and cut by my own blood, do you think I would trust someone who I have barely known for less than a quarter of my life. 


I wish I could trust someone with who I am but instead of trying to understand me, you would see me as a monster and to be honest…. You might not be wrong. But I wasn’t always born a monster; I was innocent and loving and hopeful. But that’s hard to have when the world is so determined to prove you wrong. You want me to tell you everything and to let go of past pain, but what you don’t know is that without this pain and anger, I would disappear into the darkness I fight everyday. You ask why I’m so tired, because even in my sleep I have to fight to breathe and not fall into the darkness of my own mind. I wake up knowing that I have to fight my own mind to go to work, to eat, to even want to live. You ask why I don’t sleep; because then I must face the most dangerous person to my own heart and body…. Myself. It's hard to fight someone who knows you more than you even know yourself. This person knows your weaknesses, your dark spots, how to sniff out your light, and your darkest desires. 


But what do you have to be sad about? You're successful and have a roof on top of your head, food in your fridge, loving parents and family. A lot of people have less than you do, you should be grateful and proud of how far you have come. But what you don’t understand is that even when you were telling me how proud you were of me; the voice was saying that you would have never made it here without me. You are not brave, strong, beautiful, smart; you can’t hide your pain and anger behind your temporary success. You will need me someday and you're going to wish you never opened up and gave yourself this pleasure of temporary happiness. The only way you will succeed in life is if you hurt others, show your power, your determination… your darkness. And the truth is, I want to. I want to know how it feels to never give a damn about what people think and to only focus on myself. To be able to protect the people I love and for people to fear what I will do to them if they ever tried to hurt the people important to me. They say fear is not a good way to establish control but it sure is an effective way. 


I try to love people and they continue to disappoint me everytime. And the people who I know love me unconditionally don't even know me for who I am. They think I could never hurt anyone or become the darkness I have in me but sometimes I just wish I could let go and become that person. The person who would kill and not give a damn about it if it meant protecting the people I love and myself. And it scares me sometimes. The way I want to see some people just bleed and cry out for help, and me just watching and not doing anything. 


I can see myself swinging this sword at this weak girl who keeps crying and begging to stop. But all I feel is powerful and no care for this girl. A smile coming to face knowing that if anyone ever tried to hurt me, I could easily slay them down or cut them out of existence. I see her brown eyes crying and holding herself like she wished she was somewhere else; but also like she is too tired to fight and too weak to even speak. She looks me in the eyes and instead of seeing the pain of her injury or even the fear of me… she feels pity for the person she sees in front of her. Like I had good reason to be this angry and cruel. The blood continues to pour out her wound , surrounding both of us and I can see how beautiful the blood looks and how rich of a smell it has. I can feel myself becoming more comfortable with the smell of blood and the view of being higher up and still standing. But this girl still looks at me like I'm the one who is injured and hurt. I feel myself getting angry and wanting to kill her but I know that I can’t. It’s easy to injure something that is already broken and weak; but it's hard to kill it…, especially if it's yourself. This weak and pitiful version of myself is more concerned about me hurting than protecting herself. This is why she is broken; because she cared for others before herself and was too naive to see how she was the target all along. 


They ask you what is your greatest fear… but how do you share that you are your biggest fear. How easily you can choose one day to not give a damn about anyone and just give into your darkness. Your darkness may seem bad and brutal but at least it has never left you. I want to say that I still fear this side of myself so much but everyday I feel more connected to this version of me I could be. I know I don’t want to hurt people and be seen as bad or a disappointment. But even when I try to be a happier version of myself; I still feel like I am in pain and that I am too broken to be this happy or loved. At least with my darkness, I know I will have more control and less pain. The pain leaves and I feel so happy and beautiful; but why does it never last? What do I have to do to make it last? You want me to try eating better? Sleeping better hours? Focusing on my education and work? Exercise? Medication? What?! Because I feel like I have tried everything and it always ends up with me crying alone and screaming in silence. Smothering my screams to make sure I don't wake anyone up. Smiling so no one knows that I am 1 second from breaking and never getting back up. You say I am depressed, anxious, insecure… but what if I was just not loved enough, used, broken, and violated?!?! Would you accept me more or feel pity for me? I don’t want your pity and I don’t want your love. I want to just have peace and be able to look into the mirror and not fear who is looking back at me. Some people might call me a monster, or inhumane but It's hard to fight that person inside of you who I see as a Warrior, Conquer,... a SURVIVOR who never abandoned me.




Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts