I've got a new black jeans and many people told me to soak it in salt water before washing it so that the colour won't fade early but i did soak and the color us continuesly going the water is turning black I changed it for like 3,4 times but still the water is turning black

Google it ... Probably the solution is over there 

Other

Going through a lot don't even know where to start

Breakup

Just want to let my emotions and feelings out as I have no one to talk to or I don't want to feel week infront of my friends.
So, I met this guy on a dating app and it all started really well and we both were not actually looking for anything serious. We hooked up and he moved out of the city after few days. After the hookup, things chaged a bit and we both confessed it. Still we didn't escalate it to relationship as both of us needed some time but we're sure that we want to escalate it to romantic relationship. We were in touch throughout, did video calls and used to text each other. But after a month and a half his response went dry and now it's close to 2 months and he is going out with some other girl. I don't have any problem with that as we both decided to socialize over dating app. But, you can feel the energy through text, that feeling of being unwanted. So, even I am not giving him much bhav. But, why are people like this? Don't do promises of such extent if you cannot keep it, not even for a fucking 2 month. Now I see the reason of him being in 3 relationships in past 1 year lol. I am hurt and feeling bad but I know this too shall pass. :)) 

Celebration

Today I bought a good camera phone.
Now I realised jab shakal hi achi ni h to kuch ni hoga... kitna acha phone kyu na kharid lo 😅😂

Anger Issues

Deep down you know where you stand with someone 
Hope blurs the line a bit...but you know

3am Thoughts

hi

i generally find it hard to feel like i belong to a group. i usually feel excluded, isolated, or even disliked even though this might not be true at all (idk about the latter honestly). also, i feel very lonely most times.

i am at my summer break right now. i study abroad so I haven't seen my friend group from my highschool for a while, but we talked online throughout the last year. now, we are having a vacation together, but I realize that I feel very lonely (as lonely as ever) with them. 

maybe it's that we slightly disconnected, or that i still hold some grudges over some past conflicts that i decided not to dig up and resolve with some of my friends because it was such a long time ago and i don't feel like it matters to them. 

I don't feel like i belong to the only long-lasting group of friends that i have and feel like i don't matter (not like it is a new feeling to me, but i am upset over the fact that i feel like this even though i am surrounded by my closest friends).

it would be fine for me if that was just a passing, temopary feeling. however, i feel like that very often, almost all the time. i don't know how to stop making myself feel excluded and overthink every interaction that i have with other people. 

Siblings and Family

So I was watching something on my laptop and I realised when we were kids we saw our parents as perfect, we saw our elder siblings as inspiration, we wanted to become like them. As we grow up we realise that our parents and elder siblings are not perfect, they are just humans like us, they have flaws, they have strengths as well as weaknesses, they have their own struggles.

I remember my younger brother when he was in std 8th , in their report card they had to write their strengths, and he wrote 2 things out of which one was  - my sister is my strength. I remember it till date. It felt soo good to read that. He once said , didi ( elder sister ) got A1 in all subjects. He used to look up to me. He wanted to become like me. I was his inspiration.
With time he got to know my flaws , my weaknesses, I am no more that perfect elder sister like whom he wanted to become. I wonder what he thinks of me as of today. He still loves his family a lot. He has once mentioned that he won't be able to do anything without mom and me. He is also close to dad. I think he loves his family, all of us , and everyone of us has a different role to play in his life.

The fact that I matter a lot to him keeps me going.  Whenever I think of ending things, I think of him, I don't want him to get hurt because of me. 
I want to become the sister he thought I am. Maybe I am wrong here, but I want to be someone he looks up to , someone who inspires him. 

Also, when we are young we see our parents as perfect, and the relationship with them in childhood defines the relationships we have in the future. Maybe along with parents, siblings also play a role in our future relationships, not as much as parents but some part. 

Needless to say, our family plays a huge role in our childhood and also becomes the basis of what type of future relationships we have. And the sibling bond is so beautiful, we fight with them, we make fun of them, but we also love them. It's so precious - our bond with our siblings, and also with our family. 

It feels good after writing what all has been going on in my mind.

Guys, if you like this post, I would really appreciate it if you click the like button. Please feel free to comment and let me know your views.

Thank you for reading 🫶



Today I lost my job. I feel worthless. I always thought I was a bad person from the very beginning and that I deserved bad things, but I never thought this would happen. I hate myself. I wish I was gone, it would be so much better without me. I relapsed in my self harm today, It has been nearly 3 years since I last self harmed. Today was honestly just a lot. 

Self Harm

There is roll of uncertainty everywhere including toothache

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts