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I’ve been working on repairing my relationship with food. These last weeks, I felt like I had finally, finally recovered. I’d stopped always looking for the lower calorie option. I deleted myfitnesspal, even stopped estimating calories. Over the holidays I told myself that I would allow myself to ‘indulge,’ and that it was okay to have a few more treats than normal. But today, after eating dessert after dinner- I just couldn’t. stop. eating. And so I kept eating, even after having properly fed myself using the day. Now, I’m sharing this with people I don’t even know because I don’t know how to cope with the guilt. I just feel so weak, like I can’t even control myself and like I’ll never be able to have a normal relationship with food. I’m scared that I’ve lost all control, that I’ll just gain weight because I’m disguising it as ‘self love.’ I’m so tired. What’s wrong with me?

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Anonymous

making peace with your eating habits seems to be a very serious issue and I don’t think i will be of any help because i can’t empathize with what you are going through .
All I can say is, you need to make peace with both the options. if you eat more or less you should feel good about yourself. may be work on that aspect.
I wish you find all the happiness in the world

j

Hi! I would firstly like to tell you that its very brave of you to share what you are going through.
Please do not feel guilty, it is ok , we all go through something or the other in life. I will recommend a few things for you to do and apart from this I would also like you to seek professional help, make an appointment with a psychologist/therapist near you who deals in eating disorders.
Whenever you feel that you have satisfied your hunger , take a pause , tell yourself that you have control and even if you feel the need to eat more try and wait taking another serving for 5-10 mins. This will help in passing your urges.

Know this that there is nothing wrong with you, you can improve your relationship with food. You can seek the help of a nutritionist or dietician.

If you feel you overindulge then trying having your meals with someone in your family or friends who is extremely disciplined.

You can also try deep breathing - whenever you feel the need to overindulge just sit and take a deep breath in , hold it and then exhale and do this continuously for 2-5 mins.

Try maintaining a food diary and identifying which type of food you overindulged in and what was happening around you at that time, this will work wonders in helping you identify triggers.

If you need help in identifying the appropriate therapist or still are not clear with something please feel free to get in touch with me on Instagram or Facebook @Psychassist57

P.S- Do not forget you are beautiful and any weight gain will not hamper your ability as a wonderful soul and neither will it hamper your performance.