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I’ve been sexually abused by my stepdad for all of my teen years, my mum never believed me untill I was strong enough to go to the police. He is now in prison but my mum still chooses to talk to him over the phone regularly and visits him often. She always makes herself the victim in this situation because she lost her financial stability when my stepdad went to prison. I’ve tried to maintain a relationship with my mum and she claims she does love me however I’ve caught her many times talking bad about me to my husband and his family, she constantly puts me down by calling me names and says I am a bad mother to my 2 little baby’s. Is it worth keeping a relationship with my mum? I’ve come to a realisation she is toxic, is it worth having her in my life and my kids life??

Profile picture for Now&Me member @andrerowan
2 replies

Absolutely not. It’s not worth it. Maybe she did believe you even in your teens but she didn’t want to loose the financial support.

Please make yourself a priority and love without respect isn’t real love at all.

It’ll be best to have your own separate life and keep your family away from the toxicity.

All the best. Take care.

Profile picture for Now&Me member @andrerowan

yoursecondhandt... @andrerowan

I’m so sorry that you had to go through all this!
I have no similar experience… however, I think you shouldn’t try to keep a relationship with her.
It sounds like you tried your best to keep her in your life and she doesn’t appear to change in any way. It must be exhausting for you to have to go through this over and over again.
Sometimes is better to cut people off if we are sure that they are never going to love and support us in the way they should and that they are just simply toxic. Especially you having your own family and your kids having to grow up witnessing this unstable relationship…
I hope you find the strength to do what is right for yourself and your family!


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