Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

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Anonymous

I’ve been really worried and stressed for the past few weeks now. It was normal for me to worry at almost everything but for the last few weeks, it’s so high that I just get shivers and cry. I’m really worried and stressed because I’m scared of the thought that my closest friends will leave me via suicide. One of them tried to commit suicide but I’m glad they didn’t… Instead of feeling relieved that he didn’t, I got more worried and just became paranoid. I was scared that whenever he would say goodbye, it’d be the last. I’m scared that one of them would try to commit suicide again. I feel so bad because I can’t even go to their house because I just met them on the internet… But even though we just met there, it was like we knew each other for so long… I’m scared that it would be gone in an instant. I can’t calm down no matter what I try to do.

Profile picture for Now&Me member @kavyaganesh
Profile picture for Now&Me member @k9nzaki
Profile picture for Now&Me member @nemisisss
3 replies
Profile picture for Now&Me member @kavyaganesh

Kavya Ganesh @kavyaganesh

As someone who was once in a very dark place herself, I thank you for being concerned about your friends. Your friends might not see it right now, I didn’t either when the friends I once had worried about me. We make the people around us worry and feel scared, and on their behalf, I apologise for it. It’s not because we don’t care about it, it’s just that sometimes we focus too much on ourselves and our pain. I don’t know if talking to them about your worries will make them reach out to you, but you won’t know if you don’t try. Gently tell them that you’re concerned about them. I think that’s what most suicidal people would like to hear, that they’re needed. That their existence makes a difference. That something would be different if they weren’t alive. Let them know why they’re important to you. Let them know that even if things are difficult and they can’t open up fully to you, you’re willing to hold their hand through the difficult time.

Coming back to you, I hope your friends let you into their darkness a little, and I hope you will muster the courage to see their lives. More importantly, please don’t lose yourself in the worry of your loved ones. It is important that you care for yourself too.

If things ever get overwhelming, do things that help you understand your emotions… Emotional books, dramas and music always helped me get through bad times, because it made me feel like I’m not alone in my misery. I hope it brings you some comfort too.

Profile picture for Now&Me member @k9nzaki

Eva 💕 @k9nzaki

i lost my friend to sucde as well and i blame myself for it allll the time thinking about what i could of done to prevent him, sorry if my ‘ advice ‘ is useless but i think the best thing is to reassure him/her because you might be the light they’re looking for. being worried for them is okay , because you’re looking out for them. your friend needs you. your friend needs your support, your words , your help. and if worst case scenario he/she did comm*t please don’t ever do what i did and blame yourself because it put me in a deep hole of guilt , wondering what i could of done. i love you and your friend and i’m wishing the best, the best , for you and your friend x

Profile picture for Now&Me member @nemisisss
@nemisisss

Honestly, I’m not sure what to say but if i did, it would be to make happy memories with him such as, playing games, studying together, having a contest on who’s better at drawing, etc. I feel like if you can let them know you had fun with them while you guys knew each other, it would be harder to let go, maybe then,they could feel more than just a burden to everyone.

Again, you don’t have to listen to me if this sounds like a bad thing, well it depends on the situation, but i hope you guys can get closer.

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