It's so weird that the people I thought were my friends aren't interested in talking to me anymore but the ones I did not consider my friends are the ones that I actually like talking to and they actually bother to text me back or talk to me about something other than work.

the world works in a funny way sometimes to reveal who are your true friends

Friends

I don't know if it matter but.... I'm afraid to have friends, when I make friend with someone I can already imagine when and for what reason they'll not be in my life anymore, people always get bored of me easily and now I don't even want to have any friends, I'm an overthinker with a lot of trust issues because of my family and my story.

Overthinking

I found out that I really don't have friends.  It's so hard for me to find good loving positive friends.  And when I think I find one, they prove me wrong. How do I deal with a "friend" who ditched me to hang out with older and more popular "friends".  And lied abt it.  She used the mental health card to make me and her other friend feel bad she couldn't hangout but really she just wanted to hang out w her other "friends".  Makes me feel like shit. 

I don't understand how it works. When I almost didn't have friends it was easy there was no need for me to spend much time with the only friend I had, everything was usual. 
However, now when I have a few close friends and others, I became more stressed out, feeling depressed and lonely. While it was never a problem for me before.

Stress

Hey, idk if anyone’s gonna see this but I thought I’d vent for a second. Ever since quarantine I’ve became distant with my irl friends. My schedule was to wake up, eat, watch tiktok, eat more, and sleep. Basicly my life was boring as it was. But it all changed when I saw a discord link in the comment section of a random video. This group of people became best friends, My family. I had an actual emotion bond with them. But one text ruined everything (I didn’t say any slurs) All of them were about to split they were saying how the group was suppose to be unproblematic and fun, how they were to old for the drama. I felt guilty that this was about to happen. All because of me? Greatfully they stayed together but they were still really mad. And I don’t blame them. I told them I would take a break but I check back every minute. I feel like they’ve forgot about me, or have another chat without me. I’ve been having lots of break downs and just all together my mental heath hasn’t been so good. I’ve been feeling sad and guilty and I feel like I ruined the only good thing I had in my life. Idk what to do with these feelings except stay quiet and deal with it on my own 😕.

Mental Health

I feel like my friends are starting to dislike me. I have no idea what I did. They’re getting more agitated with me and just overall ignoring me. I just joined a discord call with them and they left as soon as I started talking. I just wanted to talk with someone :(

And suddenly i realized I have no friends no one who knows me and that's hurt

My friends dropped me because of my personality and how I never talk to them but I do talk to them but I feel left out and I told them that but they were just like you need to I coude your self into the group but they never tell me what they are talking about and even tho they have trash talked about each other and they have dropped people and asked them to come back I still miss them they replaced me with two other people they removed me from thier socials and they hang out and act like I was nothing to them and I see them at school which makes it 10x worse because they act as I’m not there 

3am Thoughts

i don't believe my friends loves me. what should i do? i feel pretty depressed

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