Its so funny… when you make someone your world! You do everything for them! And just the time when I expect them just to be there for me when I was at my lowest, they said I’m selfish and I don’t respect their time. They say that whatever I did for them, they did not ask me to do it. Wow. I want to scream and hurt that person so much, but then also, I will never. I still care for them. But I don’t want to anymore. It’s killing me. Little things keep on piling up. I’m having suicidal thoughts everyday. But then also, I will never do it. But I honestly have lost the will to live. My heart is not ready to accept
they’re toxic. I seriously am very tired of everything, tired of living :(
You had to learn this lesson the hard way, unfortunately. Im sorry you end up feeling like that. I too have gone through this.
I would simply say, accept you were wrong when you trusted them and try to move on. The world may not be better but you can still be stronger. You’re not alone in this world
Its gets more annoying when I try to talk to them and they don’t even have the time to talk about that. They keep sending me quotes about self love and treat me like this. Is that an indirect shot at me? Saying that I’m stupid for expecting care from them?
Whoever they are, they are not trying to understand you and listen to your point. I would suggest you focus your energy on yourself now. Show them real self love. The ones who care or have a change of heart will want to stay with you. That is all i can suggest you . But if you do this , you would be in a much better place than you are and wont allow others to demean you like this
I have been trying to do it all the time. But then it reached a point, when I just cannot be more strong and then I break down. I am honestly trying so much for self love. But I fail everytime. I’ll cry for hours and I still would not be okay. I don’t know what to do anymore. My brain feels empty all the time
Self love isnt easy. It is literally very full of hardships but keep making the efforts because they all count. You can see the difference only over a long period of time. How long, we dont know, but it does happen. Remeber water doesnt boil till 98 degree Celsius even if you started at 25 degrees, you gotta heat it for 2 more degree Celsius . So just keep putting your efforts and focus on the process. If you want to know more read atomic habits first chapter.
I am trying so much. But I am so tired! I guess there’s just something wrong with me
When tired, rest. And start again. Have something to eat. And no , chaos feels like wrong. What exactly do you feel wrong about yourself ?
That I am not capable of self love. And I’m so broken, that I never will be
Everyone feels that way at some point. Its part of the process. When you feel broken, you gotta pick those broken pieces up and fix them . It doesnt happen in one go or in one day. It takes time but it happens. And yes, everybody is capable of self love.
I feel like even if I fix my broken pieces, it’ll still have the cracks. I’m just so dull right now.
You know the Japanese mend their cracks with gold. It adds beauty to the product. Your cracks are gonna be filled with much more precious thing of self love.
You can google those images btw. They are beautiful
Its called kintsugi (pottery mending technique)
I guess. It all sounds nice theoretically. But I just don’t have the energy anymore. Because doing all this effort, I’m afraid its going to be broken again anyways
No it wont be .you will heal . You need to give yourself more time . Just keep going.
Feel free to connect if you want.
How to connect do you mean? Just click on + symbol next to my name and send request
Rahul kainth @rkainth15
Hey i can understand what you are going through i too have given my 100% to the Person and in return never got anything
I fact sometimes now when I go and look back the time I used to be for them i laugh at myself
Idk what’s this thing with humans that once they understand that they are important to us everything in realationship goes to shit !!
Look i want to say you is that please try to move on with your life it will really help you out a lot there is always someone much better waiting to be with us 💕💕
My heart isn’t ready to move on. I still care for them. But I want them out of my system completely. They do one good act in a blue moon and then I feel okay for a while and then after a while we’re back to the same thing. It’s so annoying the way they play with my emotions. I just want to erase them from my memory.
Rahul kainth @rkainth15
I know how hards things can get when being with someone like this the best thing you can do is try to make new friends and try to distract yourself from them 💕
If you want we can also talk
But distracting myself doesn’t let the problem go away :(
I want it diminished. I am not even allowed and being given a chance to clear things and finish it all for once. I’m not the kind of person who cuts people off just like that, because I know what that feels like.