it’s really hard to persistently keep a positive attitude, especially when you’re so used to the negatives. there come so many instances in life where legitimately everything is going wrong, and it puts you in the toughest situation ever because you just don’t have enough energy to stay positive, to be happy. constant reminders aren’t enough, it really fucks you up after a point, and your belief system vanishes because then you come to think whether what we thought would make us happy was really true. sometimes you just lose it.