It’s not fair…it’s just not fair… Watching everyone around you who’s used you…close to you…get everything you’ve ever wanted …but it’s too late for me…somebody or something has already taken away those chances…I’m too old, not pretty enough, not talented enough… .they’re already too far ahead…they pity me…I’m left by the wayside… I’m angry…I’m jealous… I’m hurt…it’s too late …it’ s not fair.
What is happening exactly?
I know you expressed your feeling out, which is great!
But is there anything that you want to share in detail being anonymous so I can talk and we can have a conversation!
I appreciate it…it’s just a lot unpacking too many specific occurrences. I have a past wherein I’ve been sexually abused by my father and others and not really supported by mother and others in the things I wanted, like art. My self-esteem has suffered tremendously, to the point where it affects me physically, not just mentally. Things I cant just change…like weight where I would be able to diet and exercise…no…I have scars and other ailments that I can’t change…no matter how “skinny” or whatever the case may be. I took a back seat inthe things I thoughtI wanted really bad…to focus on academics and such…which in the end, I feel hasn’t helped… Because I still feel at 26, I haven’t gone far enough to push for what I want…but I’m still afraid… I hve to keep a roof over my head…I dont have a bf like many women my age or have ever had one. Im getting older…and more upset with passing time. Im not happy in my current stage…I dont see how I can get the things I want…love or career…because in reality…Im not a fighter as much as I thought…and im flawed to the point where Im repulsed at the thought of being intimate with anyone…ive encouraged others around me …younger siblings and friends to go for what they want…one such one who views me as a mentor …but in a way she has surpassed me…gone farther than I ever have…and is continuing…and I feel left behind…happy for them but secretly envious…which feels terrible to say…but true.and my sister just doesnt talk to me…but same case…younger…has a bf…more daring… We’re always being compared…in comparison…we are said we look alike…but then she has had bf’s gets attention. Has friends is ble to open up unlike I and shares her art. Same feeling…it hurts…I feel like I dont have a place in what I love…time is going by…everyone leaving me behind…noone there for me the way I wish they were.
hii . youre not flawed at all no matter how ridiculous and cliched this sounds but youre one of gods creation and if youre flawed then the world is too your sister is too . everyone is unique in their own way and so are you . i hope i could get to know you better so that i could tell you the numerous qualities you have . youre so brave for talking about this and you have our attention buddy . i am here for you so dont worry . better yourself everyday . i know its difficult but work towards it . be determined because you can do it . i have faith in you and even if you cant youll be so so much better than those who didnt even try right?im sure youre a wonderful person becasue you seem like one . you have story . so just put it all in your art
Don’t think that you are getting late for something. No matter what your age is, it’s not important to be settled by 30 or so. Some get it earlier and some later. Just focus on you. If you want to lose weight, do it. Not to impress others or for others. Just do whatever you want for yourself. Keep trying, you will be successful one day. It does not have to be soon. Just take very good care of yourself and give yourself some time rather than thinking too much about the world. Work on your personality for yourself, and not others. And sorry that you had to go through your childhood, but do not let that push you down. Gather your strength and move on!
hey, it’s alright:)
live for yourself don’t get into this depression
people will hurt you, even more, it’s you who should come over this.
Ana Banach @johnthejohn
Unless this is too personal, what country are you from? This post screams America. People are jerks here, and pity is just jerk air. So I’ve decided that blood is just jerk juice. Even though I have hemophobia, seeing idiots suffer physically pleases me more than mentally.
Their ideas of a perfect person aren’t correct. They bite at you, snipping away anything that doesn’t match their cookie cutter society of drones brain washed by things and places most people see as harmless. Like Old Navy. The pictures there show a boy doing karate and a girl doing ballet. The boy is showing off his muscle and grit. The girl is supposed to look pretty.
IT IS UNFAIR. NOBODY IN THE WORLD UNDERSTANDS HOW WE’RE LEFT IN SOME SHELL OF UNREACHABLE STANDARDS.
And pity…I already mentioned it, but OH MY GOD it’s TERRIBLE.
In other words, I’m saying be violent and brutal. Or listen to The Kids From Yesterday by My Chemical Romance. We are going to fix this cruel, unfair world.
It’ll just be a matter of time.
Sorry, this post was all over the place with topics.
Best of luck ✌🏾😔
Ana Banach @johnthejohn
This may be off topic btw.
Well, yes I would have to say I am American…and it feels dirty…despite pride and everyrhing they try to instill…of course mostly towards a certain group of people…and those people have to fit the cookie-cutter as you stated. I want to explore more outside of this realm…that seems so toxic…but Its hard because I feel like im a product of it and all the negativity people have instilled in me…and Im trapped…even now with corona…noone wants americans to spoil thier toil and turf xD… Ahh anyhoe…appreciate your words…and fight the good fight yourself man.
Ana Banach @johnthejohn
Thaaaanks. Uh, so, America is just the worst country to exist and I’m glad I share that idea with someone. I mean, if it was so free, then why would we have bombs? And a president? I don’t know anymore, just…HOLD YOUR HEAD UP HIGH!
Or down low, you’re entitled to your emotions. Just another thing the USA doesn’t recognize as bad. With all the, ‘GOOD VIBES!!!’
Sorry, I went off on a tangent.