It’s my first time and I just cannot speak to anyone I know about all that I am feeling because I’m really really scared their going to think I’m crazy, exaggerating and making too many assumptions. I also think that about myself too sometimes which is why I’m so scared to tell anyone.
I live in japan where there are jokes about killing and saying stuff like “die” and people think it’s a joke and laugh about it. I’m quite sure that the society I am in right now has made me feel so much more insecure and enclosed.
I think I just need to get at least some of it off my chest by sharing on a platform where maybe at least one person may understand.
I am not bullied, I have a very nice family, I go to a good private school and is really should be happy I think, but little things have built up inside and I think it’s all exploding right now.
I have been self harming, crying a lot, shaking for no reason, having quite a bit of suicidal thoughts.
I’m not sure how to overcome it because I feel like there is nothing that can be done for me.
Sorry it’s so long. I just wanted to get some out there
People will think what they have to think, you cannot change their opinions and mindset. All you can do is just be yourself and say thing you want to. Please don’t limit yourself by thinking that people will think you’re exaggerating etc. Their opinions don’t matter.
I absolutely get what you are feeling and going through. Sometimes everything in our lives can seem “perfect” and people think that what problems would they have, they have everything. But that’s not actually true. Sometimes even after supposedly having “everything nice” we can feel a void, we can feel that something is missing or even then we can be unhappy.
I believe sometimes this void comes from feeling that there’s no ‘purpose’ that we’re working towards or a particular ‘mission’ which we are set out to do.
I think when we don’t have this^ purpose, we let little thing said by other people bother us and affect us because we put too much thought and attention into what they are saying. Whereas, we should be SO focused on ourselves that those things shouldn’t affect the way we feel.
I would say that please try putting your efforts and energy into something you really really enjoy doing apart from school and studies and all. Take up something which will make you feel like you’re doing something of value , maybe that helps!
Also, please don’t apologise for getting things off your chest. Here for you :)
Thank you it means a lot. It makes me feel a lot better 😊
I am so glad this helped. :)