It’s exactly 3:43am now. Writing this here, with watery eyes, shaky hands, fast heart rate and I feel a pressure for which it’s hard to even breath at the moment.
Asked my bestie to help me to gather my courages for my final goodbye which I couldn’t do it alone. All i got as a reply is “bhai, neend arhi, can’t help” (Bro sorry can’t help , I’m sleepy) while we were on call with her ranting about her issues. I had to do it all alone…But that’s fine that I’ve the capacity to be someone’s pillar at times. But it hurts to collect your shattered pieces again all alone , only for it to be shattered again. It hurts soooo bad, physically and mentally both when you want to throw yourself to the feets of divine, begging for help . Asking every possible freaking universe to please be in my favour just this once. That “fir kabhi” might not come ever again, but either ways I’ll cherish everything I received. Only if human breed knew the difference between visible effort and silent efforts. Only if society had the capacity to understand a person who struggles to express emotions who was never taught to express sadness, anger and neither love. Only if they had the capacity to observe the change in behavior for the better instead of just complaining everytime. And lastly only if they had the capacity to read eyes, voice and the language behind “meri haar chuppi” (My each silence). Things would have been different, I wouldn’t have had to beg for some more time from the divine.
Either ways, it was a beautiful journey but universe had other plans 💫
I’m sorry, bro that you’re going through it all. I think for whatever happened is for good, now atleast you won’t expect things from her, and break off the contact. You deserve better people, not her
Yeah thank you so much for your words I appreciate it. but it wasn’t about her. It was about someone else, a guy whom I had to let go. And I needed her help for this… Just a little bit of assurance that i can do it. But yeah I did it anyways✨
It is indeed hard.
It would be a lie if I say say, for the sake of pretending to be goo, that i understand.
However, if you would like to talk about it, perhaps I might be able to help you, understand your feelings.
I am not a therapist but this feeling of not being considered as a someone to be even asked, if you are doing well, hurts.
Being someone’s shoulder is what we do out of kindness but sometimes we all want someone to understand us.
Please do not worry, perhaps, you are the one with heart of an angel who goes beyond the boundaries for other and take all of his problems on his own.
I wish you strength.
Good*
I appreciate your words, made me feel good. I just want to clarify one thing, me being their shoulder wasn’t my act of kindness, rather I know the pain, I know the feeling so I try my best to not let people go through the same thing at least in my presence . It gets serious over time which starts impacting on various factors 💫
道流 @gekkousamurai
I am so sorry you’re feeling this way. It’s incredibly painful when the people we rely on let us down, especially in moments when we are at our most vulnerable. Your strength in facing these challenges alone is truly admirable. Think of a seed buried deep in the soil, alone and under immense pressure. Despite the darkness, it gathers its strength, breaks through the earth, and reaches towards the light, eventually blossoming into something beautiful. Your journey, too, is one of growth and resilience. Keep holding on to the belief that there are better days ahead. If you ever feel lonely, feel free to connect with me, I don’t know I can give you accurate solutions of your problems or not but at least I can be a good listener 😊
Thank you so much… That means a lot💫
道流 @gekkousamurai
Your welcome
