It's easy to give suggestions to others problem but when it's your turn to take decision most of us are fail to handle the situation.

Kusum Thakur

3am Thoughts

How to deal which parents who keep on taking desicion for your and keep on manuplating you to follow there decision.

My life has completely hit a bottom

I've lost 15 pounds back in summer, which I am gained 4 pounds and I can't stop eating. My psychologist says I might have developed an eating disorder

I'm also a diabetic (type 1) which my blood glucose levels are always high and my doctors aren't going to be happy + my weight gain because they were determined I'd lose more

I'm just so miserable, I am scared of stepping on the scale, I'm scared of my checkup and I'm just so miserable overall.

I hate myself, i sometimes wish I was dead, I have no close friends, I hate everything I say and I torture myself over every single word I said wrong or what I did wrong even years back

I don't know what to do anymore, I want to scream right now 

Eating Disorder

Not to be negative or anything but I have never seen a Bengali guy who looks good actually. Here my parents are rejecting them based on their looks and qualifications. Still they want only bengali 🙂

Marriage

Why do people think bad about others, I hate such people. 

So I had been feeling low lately but I also know I can’t let my parents know about that . Today mom asked me why I’m having a silken face then I told her to ignore it. Again she asked me when I took her to walk. Then my emotions started to flow and came down in form of tears and told her about my worries. But I knew it won’t be if any good. Then she told me there’s no point in worrying as only I’ll be troubled more with my thoughts. Then in end she said that if I stay worried then mummy and daddy will be worried more leading to more tension on already loaded worries at home. I mean it’s always been this with me like I was always reserved and cheerful since childhood so parents thought I have no worries. Been without job since months and having worrisome thoughts related to future. But mom feels me being a girl should not worry as I’ll be married and can work afterwards. She didn’t tell such to my brothers then why me? Sometimes I feel biasdness. I even left my job to stay with them at their insistence yet every day is very heavy for me. 

Anxiety

I have no desire and I don’t know why. I am becoming an emotionless person. Even when someone scold or irritates me I am not angry or sad. I feel like I lost purpose for living.

Is it okay to date your best friend?????? Doesn't it ruin everything you both had and the bond if unfortunately they broke up??????

Relationships

GOING THROUGH GUILT AND SHAME. 

I did something terrible last year. I can’t get over the shame and guilt from it. I lied to my friends and old college mates and borrowed money from them. (citing medical emergencies and other things). Instead I used it in gambling. I had a gambling addiction. I returned the money to them within a month. But they do know that I lied to them. At least most of them know I think.

Even though, I returned the money to them, every single day I can’t stop thinking of the fact that what they might think about me. I borrowed like an average of Rs. 400 (Ranging from Rs100 to Rs700) from 13 people. I know what I did was wrong. I don’t have that gambling addiction anymore. tbh the most cringy thing about this incident is I approached people who rarely know me from my old college. The whole thing is still embarrassing to me. 

This year is meant to be crucial to my career. Because of this incident I lost a year. I cannot lose another year. I want to concentrate and focus but i cannot. I am keeping on wandering on instagram and other stuff which aren’t really important to me.

I know what I did was wrong. And I feel I am going to face the consequences. Even though some of the time I feel the opposite. 

If they came to know why I borrowed money from them will they get mad at me? (Note: Some of them already know that I lied)

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts