Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

It’s difficult these days to explain how am I feeling. Much confused, whether it’s happiness or sadness, or even any feeling. Everything seems pale, I started losing interest from everything that usually made me enthusiastic. I even dropped college, quit my studies, left my hobbies, kicked my passion. Feeling like it’s totally empty, a void of emptiness. Sleeping became an act of escapism, but before my eyes start feeling tired, I don’t want to push myself to sleep, because there I will have to get through so many thoughts, so many memories. I try to indulge myself in my mobile phone, until my whole body start feeling absolute tiredness and sleep, right now, I’m doing the same. I’ve realised that I’m becoming an escapist. Reality is so dreadful, and I just feel comfortable in escaping from it. I think I need someone to help me, I don’t know why but I feel like I can’t do it alone this time. I’m trying hard, but I just feel nothing, and feels like this life isn’t really a life. I miss old me, who was happy, amazing, lovely. I can’t do it alone, but so many incidents made me realise that people are so freaky, selfish and…
I don’t want to trust anyone, anymore. Because after some time, they’ll break my trust. So many times, I tried to trust people and I get betrayed, ignored, replaced. I don’t know why it’s only ne who really cares about the relationship.
I wish I could get a person like me, but nowadays, it seems impossible. I don’t need anybody,. because they all will do the same, after getting my trust