It's been a month since I lost my mom. It feels so hollow. My days are filled with regrets, pain, numbness, anger. But the thing is everyone around expects me and my sister to stay strong for our dad. How cruel is that for them to tell us. On her funeral we had to stay strong. I am just 19. How am I gonna live without her. I know time heals. But I wish I could just rewind time. I just wanna talk to someone by venting how I actually feel and not by filtering things cause I feel I am bothering people. I hate people saying sorry and condolence. As if that would ease my pain.

Do you wanna talk about this ? Why do feel regret why anger?

Personal Growth

My grandma passed away today. She left our family a few years back and took an oath to be a monk. She was with their group for the last three years. She was in her 80's and this winter really made her very weak. You know, how as a monk, you need to follow a set of rules. I've been a very emotional state today. She suffered a lot. Even when my grandfather was there, he never treated her right. He had no respect for her whatsoever and that used to really bother me. I just wish she hadn't suffered so much. Would have been less upsetting if she went peacefully. 

New parent and finding it impossible. There is no time to think or do anything substantive I’m finding it so hard. I love my son but god it’s so hard 

Parenting

Im feeling broken. My dad died and he was my whole world I can't express this enough he was the best guy I knew. I loved him so much and now hes gone I feel so lost I want to be able to talk to him again. I want his hugs and kisses I want him to tell me everything's going to be okay because thats what he did. He gave me the world and so much more he was so amazing and I miss him more and more everyday. I need him, I write letters to him everyday even though I know he will never read them. 

Depression

So my mom passed away 2 weeks ago.
Now a little by little, I accept the truth that she leave me forever. I feel like my normal life come back soon but I'm feel like there's something lose in my heart, like there is a space in my heart. Everytime when I feel like that, I can't even know what should I have to do. I don't know if it's lonely,  sad or what emotions it's called. So tired.

After a long shift I've realized there are 2 types of elderly people. The first kind you want to hug and love on and would do anything for. The second kind you want to kick down the stairs. 

Job Dissatisfaction

Heyy can someone cheer me up. I have got mah periods and I'm into really deep negative thoughts. I am just crying bitterly I am remembering my grandma whom I lost last year. She was my everything ever since my childhood and she left suddenly wid a heart attack. I miss her terribly. I am in too much pain. Please someone bring her to me. I need u nani please aao na mere paas waaps meko aana h tumhare paas. U told me u would be there always please. Should I go to her up there....? I wanna die dude please I need her

Suicidal Ideation

You didn't even notice the box you're in until someone lets you out.

-Sissy, The Umbrella Academy (2019) 

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts