Thought

Profile picture for Now&Me member @shalloman42

Gelo @shalloman42

Its been a couple of days, probably weeks or months, since Ive had this feeling of loneliness and emptiness in me. Its like a hole in my chest that could not be filled up while it is being pressured by an elephant(s). I do have friends and family, love ones, that does treat this painful loneliness and emptiness of mine, but it does not cure it, it just comes back few days later (or hours). And I cant seem to find a way to fix it. I think Ive tried everything to fix this problem, from video games, new hobbies, hanging out friends and family to starting a garden (which instantly failed cause I have no idea what I was doing, I think I just need to push it a little farther to work). And it begs a question, is this a normal feeling, or just me having mental/body issues? Last time I check (before and after the pandemic start) I had normal heart and lungs. So, I could safely say that I am physically healthy, emotional I supposedly no for an answer. I suppose moving forward and patience could led me to filling up this emptiness of mine and possibly cure my loneliness. I wonder what it would be?.. a girlfriend? Nah has 0 out of a 100 in charisma and person/people skills 不不不

Profile picture for Now&Me member @shalloman42
3 replies
Anonymous

Hey there @shalloman42!

I can understand that feeling, and trust me sometimes a healthy body has nothing to do with how were feeling on the inside. You could try all of the things youve mentioned, but if theres something that gives you a feeling of hollowness, then you need more than just a hobby. However, one cannot ignore the unusual, unique situation of the pandemic we are in. Nobody has dealt with something of this nature before and therefore if the loneliness is something that has been bothering you since the quarantine/lockdown then you have your answer!

If you feel that its been longer than that, then maybe you should consult a therapist, as they would be able to advise you best in case of your situation.

As for a girlfriend, I can personally tell you that no romantic partner can fill the void in your life. A puppy or a dog I can still agree with xD
Why I say that is, that we cant be reliant on another human being for our emotions and happiness. Their presence should invoke positivity and add happiness to your already satisfied soul. But thinking that they would fit in like a jigsaw puzzle and complete you, isnt a great strategy because it makes one weak and dependant.

Charisma and skills are not that necessary my friend. A good heart and dedicated mind are strong suits. Sensible women look for these qualities in their partners. You just have to be confident and own who you are, be yourself. Trust me, Im a 22 y/o woman, so maybe you might want my advice :p

A lot of women might date right now due to stupid reasons, maybe good looks or charm as you said, but soon that fades and you will observe how most of those relationships come to an unfortunate end. So, dont chase after those temporary relationships. Be patient, and work on yourself. And you will find someone who is worthy of you!!

Profile picture for Now&Me member @shalloman42

Gelo @shalloman42

Thank you for the warm advices Ms. Anonymous person. I didnt think of it that way - being dependable to someone. I kinda agree, well not kinda, but I do agree, we cant fully depend on someone that could be a sponge for our emotional needs but only dependable to ourselves. Yet, love is a mysterious and complex thing - some people dont know how to express love, but just by doing so - by depending on someone, they show their emotions to that person and tell almost everything but there are so many types of love so yes this is a weak type due to the fact that you are building a world around the person ignoring everything including yourself and the reality, which creates another hollowness. Like building a house, you create the foundations, walls, and roofs before bringing your love ones in, take care of them, and make them feel home and comfortable around you. But, if you depend on someone for your emotional and happiness needs ie the house here, youd be living in a shabby house with no foundations and support and easy to break cause you havent started building the house at all! XD youve been staying with your partner; you bought furnitures (love memories of the partner in this metaphorical sense) and decorations without a spot to place all of those things on, the house would be shallow because it is not a comfortable home to live in, so you spend more time to your partners home which is bad cause youd be a man/women/it baby on that point. And I am that type I guess. So, I suppose it is something to work on. Im 19 a high school senior, so I still have a LOOONG way to go (gotta find a way to use less wood for the foundations, a mud house would be cool. Oh! And a garden on the roof!), im not even close to the tip of the iceberg but just seeing it from a far. So thank you again for showing me what I need to improve upon, really thank you so much. And may you find yourself an awesome partner and if you already did, hopefully itll last forever xD

A cat would be cool as well, CatPerson4Life
I like dogs as well

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