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P @way_ne

It’s been 10 years since I got married. It was an arranged marriage. I come from a below-middle-class background, but over the years, I have made something good of myself. I earn decently, have bought a beautiful house, and am trying each day to improve our living standards.

Since my childhood, I have dreamt of living a luxurious life and have worked hard to be where I am today, continuing to work hard to live that luxurious life that I want. Before marriage, I knew that my wife is not too well-versed in household stuff, and I had set my expectations to not expect too much from her in terms of beautifying our house and all. Even though I always dreamt of marrying someone who will make our home a beautiful abode, I reduced my expectations down to only expecting from her that she will at least maintain what I have built or how I have decorated our home.

She couldn’t even do that, and over the years, I accepted that as well. I have reduced down my expectations to at least not making the house a mess. Most of the time, I keep cleaning and arranging everything back in proper order, but every time she messes everything up. She will throw stuff everywhere in the house. The whole place will keep lying in the drawing room, the kitchen will be left in a mess every time she enters there, even though she doesn’t have to cook or clean.

She makes her almirah a mess, which I don’t even look at just to not bother myself, but my kids’ almirahs, which I arrange whenever I get a chance, she messes up the moment she opens them, throwing everything here and there. The whole house feels like a roadside beggar’s hut. We keep fighting over the same stuff, and she somehow manages to make all of this my fault, making me feel guilty. I have only one point: this is the bare minimum I am asking out of you. I feel I am done with all of this and cannot tolerate it anymore, considering I am a recent heart patient.

I don’t know what to do. I have tried explaining and communicating this to her a million times in the last 10 years, and she is just so thankless. Instead of mending herself, she puts the blame on me every time and makes me feel guilty about this basic expectation. What should I do?

3 replies

Hello buddy , your house is for living right ? If by chance you die or your wife dies will it matter that your almirah was not organised, life is short for example if you buy a sofa that sofa is for you to sit not the other way around if you clean it every two hours that sofa owns you , yes some things should be clean it feels less cluttered I agree but these things that you buy are for your luxury you own them . These things doesn’t matter in the long run and as krishna says it as “moh” “maaya”. Read bhagwat geeta for a greater perspective on your life . Hope this helps .

P @way_ne

Cleanliness, hygiene and clutter free home has nothing to do with moh and Maya. We are not aghoris or sanyasis and as a grahastha, these are the bare minimum basics that you should have a clean, clutter free organized home which is not a dumyard.




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