It takes discipline to not to touch the screen. 

INFINITY 

3am Thoughts

is it bad my brother touches me se8ually 

Is it okay to have feelings for your cousin?

Crush

Why is it weird to have feelings for a relative?

Society

What is the point of sexual assault awareness month?

Harassment

I have feeling for my maternal cousin sis what should i do

Confusion

I got sexually assaulted today it really fucking messed me up 

Women Safety

we had an argument with my cousin, idk how to feel about it

Frustration

Please don't ignore this
I need your help
Please help meee!!!!🙏🙏
I haven't told this to anyone and i almost thought that I'll carry this horrendous thing with me to my grave without anyone knowing but i really wanted to share this with someone 
So I've gathered all my courage today to tell you this (whoever's reading)
and i think this will be the first and last time I'm sharing this with someone 
•(It's little bit sensitive)
**trigger warning**
This was when i was 13. I went to one of my far away relative (i can say it was my uncle's house whom i didn't met for much long) to celebrate half of my summer vacations after completing my assignments and after spending a couple of days there, one day my sister and aunt went market for doing grocery shopping meanwhile i was watching something on my sister's laptop 
Suddenly my uncle came to me smiling and he sat near me. Seeing him smiling i also smiled at him and then again i dig my sight in my screen
Then he suddenly grabbed my hand and touched his p*
I wasn't able to understand what was happening at that time, i was like freezed, then i just suddenly stood and went to my neighbor aunt, and i just told her like i just want to spend some time with her so i came.
But you know what, that was the first time i was scared like hell and i used to respect that man a lot because he was a retired soldier from army but my  belief now just broke into smallest pieces possible 
I started to feel super insecure 
Then when my sister and aunt came home, i returned 
And still that man was looking at me with the same eyes, and when we were having dinner he even insisted me to sit on his lap, at that time i felt like i wanna run away now anywhere but i didn't want to return back
I strictly refused him
He even tried touching me many times 
This creepy things happened to me for straight 5 days when my sister and aunt used to go out for their jobs and he warned me not to tell anyone otherwise no one will believe me and they'll think that I'm just a rotten kid
Then on the 6th day he told me that i should sleep with him at night because due to me my aunt and my sister aren't able to sleep properly in sufficient space (bullshit) 
And on that day again when my aunt and sister went out then he thought of even doing something worse He tried crossing his line while i was scared and crying and i was just on the verge of getting sexually harassed but i yelled and ran away from that house 
I ran to the nearest park and sat on the swing and started crying 
After crying for an hour i went to my neighbor and told them to call my dad
I called my dad while i was crying and told him to take me back the very other day and when he asked me the reason for my crying than i just told him that i was missing him and mom so much
I wish i could forget those horrible 6 days of my life which were more than a nightmare to me
Due to that incident I've developed PTSD which my parents even don't know about and i can't even hear or watch anything about violence which happens to girls  
Because it reminds me of myself 
I never told this to anyone and i don't think I'll even share this with anyone in future because i think it can split families apart
I'm crying rn while writing this but I'm feeling like atleast someone else know what i went through
Now I'm 18 and suddenly i started getting flashbacks which is scarring and disturbing me mentally 
I'm really struggling alone inside and you know what,now I'm slowly getting tired of this struggle 
I can't say this to even my friends because who know if they start hating me 
What should i do people T_T
Moreover I'm also neet Aspirant and I'm afraid what if this can disturb my preparation 
I'm really getting mentally weak now fighting my past and anxiety and what makes it worse is fighting alone
I'm currently on a stage where i don't wanna exist anymore, what's still holding me from suicide is my family and my dream of becoming doctor 
Please help me, what should i do now to deal with this
You people taught me not to give up so can you please help this child for once more, please 
(pls don't suggest telling my parents or going to therapist because you know typical Indian household)


Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts