Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

It hurts when your own parents don’t understand you. They mock you for your weight, criticise you for your carrier choices & failures, compare you with others, doubt you and call you arrogant and selfish. Sometimes I feel so helpless, so alone… I feel so scared all the time, especially after they scold or beat me… have no friends… am I wrong?? I don’t know…maybe I lack some fundamental cells or characteristics in my personality that make one eligible to get love and friendship…maybe had I been thin like other girls, they would love me and trust me… maybe if I were smarter and sharper academically, they would have loved me… Oh, how I wish I knew the real reason they left me when I needed them the most…
the day I get independence and I leave this house, I will make a heap of all my memories and things related to it like photos and all, and I will put them ablaze… I will set all my questions, emotions, ambiguity, broken heart and memories on fire that day till they turn into ashes… these things have burnt my nights, I would burn them soon…never to return towards them…my heart has become emotionless…like a desert…no chance of finding any water there…