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Anonymous

It has been a month ever since we broke up.
Long story short: (it’s a lot more complicated) We lived together, she broke up with me without any explanation, and I was stuck in our apartment (because I had to be in quarantine) with all her stuff for a week. Until I found her diary and found out that she cheated on me, she couldn’t bear the guilty feeling anymore, which affected everything.
I gave everything for this relationship, and I’m so angry at her. Not just for doing that, more because she didn’t tell me.
The problem is that I’m mentally exhausted. Yes, I told her everything, but I can’t stop thinking about that. I can’t study, work, even doing sports.
I’m just exhausted

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Can understand! It hurts when a close one cheats or acts in a similar way.
I hope you have talked to her and now everything is clear and things are sorted already.
Do you want to burst out?

Hey it happens it take time to process these things Whenever in relationship someone cheats than other one feel guilty and try to find reason why that person cheats and most of time we desperately ask reason or try to find out and it is quite time consuming and drain our energy and try to leave that thoughts outside which makes you guilty and also don’t take any blame of her cheating and remember cheating is a choice and when someone do that he or she already explore all options about future so let’s try to heal and try to familier with that pain and don’t run away face it and make your life worth and smile life is so short

Anonymous

I hear how painful that is through your words. I also know a bit about how that might feel because I too have been there. I struggled with that and I got through it. I know you will, too. There is hope.

We ruminate on unresolved issues from our past, because we haven’t yet made sense of them. We are uncomfortable with things that have happened. Also, we are uncomfortable with how we feel about how those things have happened. It is like our brain is trying to make sense of it by thinking about it over and over again. It’s as though we’re unconsciously trying to feel better. The problem is that this strategy often doesn’t really work.

The reason it doesn’t work is because it doesn’t help us move past the issue or the negative feeling. The process of rumination keeps us stuck. We are kind of like a hamster on a wheel. We feel like we are making progress, but we are really just running in place.

Advertisements suggest that life should be easy and problem free. Our friends in real life or on Facebook highlight all of their positive experiences, so we get this sense that life is easy for them. This is false. Life is hard. Life is hard for everyone. Nobody has an easy life. If you are having a hard life, then you are doing it right. Indeed, this is considered a timeless truth that has only recently been hidden.

The process of trying to control or get rid of the pain is what makes it so bad. If you open to it and accept it, then you’ll feel the discomfort and it’ll pass. Feelings are meant to be felt. Once they are experienced they tend to move on like a cloud passing through the sky.

Once you begin to open to the emotional pain, you’ll have extra energy and time to spend on things that you really value. You’ll no longer be eating up time doing things to avoid or control the pain. This will free you up. This doesn’t mean that the pain will go away, but it’ll no longer be front and center. You’ll now be free to live in a way that is consistent with your values.

I know it’s a bit of a read… we’re here for you.

Anonymous

Thanks :) It really helped!

3

hey sorry for that. However its time to move on, whats done is done, may be its better that it happened now and not much later life, when you would be more invested in this relationship. 1- She cheated, 2- Does not have the guts to tell you, may be its just human nature but arent you better off without this person.
Do your thing bro, whatever you love and sports, eat, meet friends read a good book… take one day at a time and get over it… so many things and people await your life… get on with it.