It feel's very bad when you want to do something life-changing but your parents are boundaries, not allowing to do what I want. I can't do anything because I am just 17 if I run how can I survive. The only option I have is to wait till I get 18+😕😵‍💫

I Can get any part time job because I am 18+

I am from India and here legal age to do any job is 18+

Why do you think I will share my plans with u?

Aisa sabko lagta is age ma..
Dhere dhere sambhal jaoge

3am Thoughts

What are y'all doing to mask a panic attack when you're in class?
I'm currently in college and I already had like 4 panic attacks in a row, gladly I was alone and I hope i won't have another one. When I was in high school I had a panic attack in class in front of everyone and I'm still embarrassed of that even though no one made fun of that, but it was very embarrassing 

Anxiety

Today is my Birthday, everyone forgets but Mark Zuckerberg not (⁠•⁠‿⁠•⁠)
.
.

Happy birthday dear me :) No need of anyone & 
anyone fake wishes :(

Self Love

My dad bullies my husband in our family chat always wanting for him to look stupid and not smart. 😞 Feel frustrated, cause we have a family trip coming up. It doesn't feel like family, it feels so toxic. 

Bullying

Hello,

I just have some locked up emotions which is making me cry over and over! I am a girl who does not cry for sthg more than once. But now its never like that. There are two things: 
First of all, i came out about my relationship to my parents. Their reaction was as expected not really good. They cried, they used harsh words, they spoke in a very much negative way and tried to make me think what i have done is a mistake ( falling in love with a guy out of caste ). I am standing my ground. Yes! But still they reactions asking what our relatives will think or say. Or they will keep us away from the community is making me think more and more that they have not considered my happiness a bit also which they should have on top of all. They kept saying, u broke my trust, what uou have done is wrong, the guy is cheating you and you dont know it ( they judged him so fast with little information or no information ). Every single thing is upside down. But they are clearing acting as if they are happy outside. My mom is giving psychological advises to relatives and all. Because of this, my period is late. I dont know why. I had food that trigger me to get my period. It dint happen till date. The stress level is at its peak and also my overthinking. My parents started observing how late i am only when i told them about my boyfriend. 
Second, I am an NRI who settled in india for higher studies. I was made to see myself as INDIAN and not by caste or religion. Infact, I came to know about the casteism only when i settled in here. The society is so fucked up. My parents characterized my boyfriend depending upon his caste. My relatives keep asking me about my marriage and call me new bride which is fucking irritating and are also pushing my parents to look for an alliance for me. Which is also irritating. This is way too much for me to handle. I feel like running away to somewhere. I clearly dont want to stay in such a society where I am clearly treated as item. Plus i am an extrovert and had huge group of friends. Which made other guys in my college call me "ITEM" and call out my name whenever i pass by. This till date hurt me a lot. Yesterday when i tried telling my boyfriend about how i dont want to stay in such a society and md being called as an "ITEM". instead of comforting me. He simply asked me. Why are you seeing evrrything in a negative way. I was once the girl who gets goosebumps whenever I hear the national anthem. I feel like i dont want to live anymore at all. I am scared if these thoughts would trigger me to attempt suicide or something. I am so scared. I know people around wont be happy about me leaving the earth. I know i deserve to be lived. But somewhere inside, somebody keeps telling me, dont live. I want to be vanished. I am posting this here with a reallyyyyy heavy heart. Please help me out! 

Society

Performed in front of 300 people online today
I feel happy and proud, else my anxiety would've taken over haha

How are you all?

Productivity

Guys m sick of loving a toxic person and m trying to move on but he doesn’t let me at the same time he doesn’t treat me right what should I do?!

Crush

Hey guys, I hope you are doing well. So I have a really important doubt. I am 18y old and in 1st year of college. There is this girl who is very cute and sweet and before joining the college I always thought I will give her a try (she might be the one) and now I am very close to her. We do video calls every day, we sit together in College and many more, but don't be confused we are still not in a relationship and deep down in our mind we both want to come together but just one thing hinders us the most and that thing is- Not able to focus on our work and goals and dreams. I don't doubt her, she is amazing and very dedicated but when I see my other friends(who are in relationship) who were very active and had another level dreams are now just hanging around with the girls and just being able to manage the college grades only. I can see that they are very happy but deep down we all know that they are not focussing on the things they should be focusing on. I fear that if I go in relationship with this girl I might end up in the same situation. She always tells me take your time as a decision this big should not be taken in hurry. Most of the time when my friends ask why you 2 are not dating, she is like, I am toh always ready, your friend is the one dragging things which makes me realize she is ready for this but at the same time she also says it's okay I have to do many things and work on my goals so I think if I date her it might not be good for both of us but at the same time I think but it is good. 
In short I am confused, should I focus on short term gratification(just date my girl) or the long term goals or plans or should do both things simultaneously. 
P.s- we are both from middle class family so goals are important and we both are fallen for each other which is kinda important too.
I would really appreciate someone's opinion regarding this.

Relationships

Movie recommendation : The Secret Life of Walter Mitty(2013)

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts