Is it wrong for me to move on so easilyā¦?
I was going through some stuff and I wanted a way outā¦I wanted to talk to someone who I would never meet cause sharing feeling with some who I would meet everyday was really scaryā¦so I decided to text this guy on IGā¦we were actually classmates in our second gradeā¦when I introduced myself to him in igā¦he didnāt remember me at all and I actually felt relievedā¦we became good friendsā¦he considered me as his best friendā¦but I wasnāt really able to open up to him too but I liked talking to him cause it was like a escape from my lifeā¦we talked almost everyday for around 2 yearsā¦and somewhere he caught feeling for meā¦I knew about it but as I didnāt have any feeling of that kind towards him I just acted like I didnāt know how he feltā¦ during this 2 years we never ever met onceā¦and then we got into a fight I didnāt talk for a month or soā¦I knew he wanted me to text him first but I didnāt cause I was really hurtā¦but then I realized that I kind off missed himā¦note that I have never every in my life missed anyone ever so i thought I liked him tooā¦and one day I finally texted him to confess my feelings but he did it first I was really happy and i confessed tooā¦I didnāt want to directly go into a relationship cause it wasnāt long since I realized that I liked him and wasnāt actually able to imagine him that way so I suggest that we talk it slow and instead of jumping straight into a relationship how about know each openly firstā¦like how about we date firstā¦he said okay but then I had this feeling of guilt alwaysā¦he was able to express his emotions so openly and they were just so heavy for me as I was not used to dealing with such feelingsā¦and one day when he said that he loved me I didnāt feel the butterflies in stomach but instead felt a pit of guilt fill in and I really felt like shitā¦I tried to reply with at least an hart emoji but it felt so wrong and then I knew I didnāt like him anymoreā¦I felt so bad that even when I am receiving so much love I canāt love him back and constantly felt like I was using him for passing my timeā¦I felt like shitā¦how could I do something like this to someoneā¦I finally broke up with him just after a month of us datingā¦I could tell he was totally broken and I knew I was the reason for thatā¦just because of my momentary feeling I broke someone so badā¦I thought I could still be friends with him but that too felt so wrongā¦after what I did I felt like it was best for him to have me out of him lifeā¦and also causeā¦I felt a kind of relief fill in meā¦and I felt so guilty for thatā¦I couldnāt possibly be able to be friends after everythingā¦i blocked him everywhereā¦and the worst part is I got over him so easilyā¦the guilt of breaking a innocent heart was there but I didnāt regret what I didā¦I donāt regret what I didā¦ only thing is how am I so heartless that I was able to forget our 2 years of friendship so easilyā¦how can I be so coldā¦
Thesilentbuddha @jot
If u still have feelings for himā¦confront himā¦n let him knwā¦n if u want to move on which u already didā¦den jus chill n relaxā¦:)
But the guilt is still there
Thesilentbuddha @jot
U want to apologiesā¦??
I did he forgave me too but the guilt is still there tho less from before but itās still there
Thesilentbuddha @jot
Now its just uā¦who needs to forgive yourselfā¦:)
How do I do that?
Thesilentbuddha @jot
by never again hurt your or anyoneās feeling againā¦
N give urself time nowā¦everything gonna be jus fineā¦:)
Dudeā¦he just tried calling meā¦I mean I blocked his number and I got a notification that one called was blocked by himā¦I donāt want to talk to him but I want to be done with this feeling of guilt but If I just talk to become I want to be done with this guilt it would be like I am using him againā¦
Thesilentbuddha @jot
Pehle to usse baat karne se tum usey use kaise kar rhe hoā¦is baat ko apne dimaag se nikaloā¦
N secondly agar wo sab jaante hue bhi baat karna chah rha hai to apko guilt consious nhi hona chahiyeā¦
Talk to himā¦n trust me ap itne bhi bure nhi jitna apne apne apko maan liya hai
Itās not about if Iām nice or notā¦itās about me being me and knowing that my actions will hurt someone and still doing it anyway and get over it so fast but still have the authority to feel guiltyā¦ is what is bothering be since a whole yearā¦
I really need you right now please replyā¦
Its all in ur headā¦jus move onā¦
Talk to him
Thesilentbuddha @jot
I think ur over reaction to the situation is more bothering uā¦!!
Thesilentbuddha @jot
M wid u onlyā¦!!
I had the same feelingā¦ig I just wanted to hear it from someoneā¦
Thesilentbuddha @jot
Dnt u wrry at allā¦everythin gonna be jus fineā¦
Wanna share smthinā¦??
I will talk to him once my exams are overā¦if I talk to him now my thoughts will be all over the place and I wonāt be able to concentrateā¦ thanks for being there for me
Thesilentbuddha @jot
Dnt wry at allā¦m always dere for u buddyā¦:)
All d very best for ur examā¦
N in future also if u need jus ping me on this threadā¦:)
Sureš thank youš
Thesilentbuddha @jot
Crying emojiā¦???
U fine na buddyā¦??