Is it okay that you don’t remember everything that you were told to do, that you have to write down so that you dont miss out any point

Idk, i am on the same boat. Tell me too when you know the answer. 

I think it's okay. A bit careless but okay. 

In my case, i feel too much pressure not to make any mistakes which lead me to make mistakes and then i hate myself for that. When i write thing because i am not able to recall everything it makes me feel weak, like i am not able to remember even small things and then i criticise myself even more

Frustration

Someone left,
As time swept,
There were memories and they troubled,
There was pain and it doubled,
Maybe your place was strong enough to break my heart,
Or it was for long so it tore me apart,
I know you still long to be with me here,
Just hoping you will ping me dear,
I know I've made mistakes maybe they hurt you a lot,
But there's always a time to untie some nasty knot,
I know I'm silly hope I didn't lose you,
Just don't bid me an adieu,
You know I love you right?
Why can't you take my mistakes a lil light....
{ I hurt someone really close by listening to my shitty best friend.. I need u back dear... i love you..}


Breakup

Heyy peeps 
All my favourite childhood memories are mostly related to my family. Every Sunday we used to go to a lake for boating and all. I eagerly used to wait for Sunday because first of all Sunday = holiday. Secondly we all used to go and have fun and thirdly mom used to cook something special on every Sunday. Actually she does that even now:) 
In fact Sundays are still my favourite and I still eagerly wait the whole week for Sunday.
So what are your favourite childhood memories? 

Happy

You don't want me bs baat khatam.
It took me 2 years and I never felt so detached as I felt today. I did not have the urge to stalk you today. Idk what I did to deserve all of this, that you did not take a small effort just to talk to me. I know you didn't have any obligation to talk to me and chose not to. I'm ready to accept that you never liked me and I was an id iot to think that you liked me. You only liked V and now you're with A. Ugh! I've been so delusional and so hopeful these past years, idk what for. You never tried to reach me once after we got disconnected or after I told you how I felt for you. I'm releasing you. But I never liked someone more and I never will. I do miss you sometimes but that's okay ig. Bye bye. I hope my energy won't bother you , if it ever did by chance☺️

3am Thoughts

It was my first time,
Wearing a saree, 
I was seeking,
Your approval or 
Validation. 
Don't know exactly. 

All evening through,
I keep staring at you. 
There were times,
When both our eyes met,
We were searching, 
Me searching you,
You searching whom
I don't want to know about. 

Everyday,
I yearn for eyes to contact,
Everynight, 
I cry for all the moments we missed, 

I wish you smiled at me, 
Just once, 
Fake or forced,
Compelled or compromised, 
Just once, for me. 
At me, for all the efforts. 

It broke my heart,
When you laughed at me, 
With your female friend. 
When I walked past you. 

Why would you do that? 
It gave a final kick, 
To my every night broken heart, 
And it falls apart, 
Every piece of my heart unceremoniously, 
on my diaphragm. 
But why do I feel like,
It lodged in my lungs instead,
And, I couldn't breathe. 

Why would you do that? 
Wouldn't you know,
I was already hurting, 
By loving you.
I was already made fun of, 
For still being stuck on you, 
Even after three years. 

We crossed paths,
many a times tonight,
I sure lost count on my fingers, 
Your head never, 
once turned to me, 
Your eyes never,
tried to hold an eye contact. 
I hear from my bestfriend,
That you were staring at her. 
But that doesn't helps me move on either. 

I watch you watching your crush, 
I watch you watching me watch you,
But there is little you do about it. 
Atleast tell me not to stare at you. 
Call me out. 
End this unbearable suffering of 
An unrequited love. 
Break my heart in one go, 
Stop butchering it,
Time and again. 

I am hurting,
I am clutching my heart, 
Swallowing my pride,
Drinking back my tears, 
Still giving you my heart, 
In my eyes, 
For you to walk, 
All over it. 

My each day, 
Begins with you,
Running in my mind 
And ends with you
stomping over my heart. 

If only my eyes had a voice, 
Everyone would've gone deaf,
With my confession of love. 

I wanted to entwine
my little finger, with you, 
When I walked past you. 
I prayed for our shoulders,
To brush, atleast a little, 
When you walked past me. 
I wanted to hold
The hem of your shirt, 
Stop you, 
Just to make you, 
Look at me, 
Look as in not like the usual,
Where your fleeting eyes,
Brush past mine, 
Just as one of the hers,
Who were swooming over you,
But Look at me,
For who I was. 

I might seem stooping low,
But I was ready risking it all,
to raise in your eyes, 
Yet I fall, 
Lower than ever, 
In your list, 
Little do you know,
I try to associate, 
With your friends, 
Just because, for you. 

I am not your type, 
You were making it clear 
I learned it, 
Following your eyes. 
I want to tell you, 
You weren't my type at all, 
I knew, yet I chose you, 
Damnation take my soul, 
My heart wouldn't stop,
Skipping a heart beat
At your sight. 

Every night, I cry to sleep, 
Wishing for one small reason, 
To hate you, 
Not to hate you, 
that's far fetched,
To unlove you, 
To lose, atleast one cent, 
Of the interest I had in you. 

You are unhealthy to me,
And still I crave for your presence, 
I look forward to tomorrow, 
Just to look at you, 
One time again. 

I can't strip for you,
I already stripped,
My self respect for you,
My self esteem for you, 
I can't go down than this, 
That's not me.  
Why would you do this,
To me. 


I wish you had stopped me, 
I wish I hadn't met your eyes, 
I wish I hadn't showed up tonight, 
That would've hurted less, 
Than you laughing on me. 
But how could I? 
I had to see you, 
To stop you running in my brain, 
But you ruined my heart. 


Thanks, for watching me watching you. 
For letting me watch you, 
I was stupid to think, 
You like me
The way I like you, 
You can never stand close,
To my feelings. 

Again, I don't know, 
If it's okay, to ask for your help, 
To help me to help you, 
To let you free,
From my mind and my eyes, 
For your help to help me, 
To save my dying heart.


Frozen by brain, 
Dead by heart,
Let me ask you one last thing,
Let me to let you go. 





One Sided Love

Today I wanted to say a goodbye to an emotionally unavailable person who I really liked thanks to my tendency to project and daydream about having something good, secure and lasting.
I didn’t know you well enough, and it is more about those decent gestures that you did toward me that I will really miss.
But. I did not like you as a person even though I thought I did - I just never got to know you properly, because you are not willing to be more open with me. I will miss so much our hugs and that warm feeling of home that you gave me on the first night. But that is just not going anywhere.
If you will want to step up, you always can. Even if you’ll want, but don’t, that’s being coward and still not a failing on my side.
But it should be you finding (or not finding) a wake up call in my leaving you. If you ever feel like you miss me, you are a grown man and I need to realize that you will ask me if you want to know what I think.
For the short time we knew each other, I was as open as I could - given the timing. It did not work out. And I deserve somebody who is on the same page with me. And I deserve to define that page for myself by continuing to work on myself. Learning myself more and more, meeting new people, letting myself have more pleasure and fulfillment in love, as well as to agree way less to take any bullshit.

Anxiety

There are more and more times that I think people really don't deserve me. They don't. 

Why can't the one who left us behind  come back again??why why why...why can't they??   Why do we have to suffer all the lonliness and emptiness...what should I do when i miss him?? Why can't he return back to me?? To whom shoul I share all my problems now?..to whom will i gossip now?? Who will hug me and tell me i am here for you now??? Who gonna drop me now?? Who gonna ask me to oil his hair??with  Whom i gonna celebrate my birthday now?? Whom i gonna ask for money now??? Who will protect me now?? Who? Who? Who? I want my brother back...it been eight month and 10 days and i miss him 24/7 ... It's so hard for me .i love you bhaiya ..please come back to me..i have never said these words to you but i was so proud that you were my brother...u never let me feel down...even my own parents made me feel miserable at times ..but you never did...i love you please come back to me....please please pleae

Loss

so here’s the thing. everyone knows of “us” and everyone knows that we haven’t dated in years or actually spoke in that matter, but everyone also knows that we’re still in love with each other. it took me a long time to realize that maybe everyone was right. that the reason we’ve both been in really short relationships/single for years is because we’re not with each other. we are each other’s weaknesses and it seems like everyone but us knows that. but now i see it. when we see each other, everything is different. you light up, you’re suddenly the kindest person in the world and i do the same. except, we’re so alike so i won’t contact you and you won’t contact me. so i guess one of us will have to move on first, but in the mean time i miss you so so dearly and i wish so badly that you would text me because i can’t bring myself to do it and neither can you. 

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts