3am Thoughts

How do you usually feel after getting played on?

I am a girl.. who really love dark colour.. 
And i really appreciate black beauty..
I m depressed what to do..becuz my boyfriend is pure black in colour.. not that much gud luking as everyone says…but i really love him .. as well as his colour.. i m very fair.. and won 2 awards for my looks only.. but that really never affected me.. 
As I think this is something my parents and gods grace.. 
I m depresed cuz my frendz keep saying bad things behind us.. especially they make fun of us being couple ..
Ki bache zebra hoge.. ya koi mtlb hoga .. 
ya mere dimag ma dalte ki mere bf mujhe sirf beauty k wajah se use krra hoga.. aur bhi bahut bekar ki baate..  iske wajah se hm dono k beech jhagda hota .. my bf gets insecure aur kabhi kabhi uska rection bht ganda hota..
All these things really affects me..
I wanna marry him.. but now its bothering me..

Harassment

being ugly is so damnnn peaceful.
nobody text you , nobody falls in love with you , nobody cares whether you alive or dead , nobody stares at you , you don't feel like posting your pictures everytime , you can just be happy all alone .

Take me to church
I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies
I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife
Offer me that deathless death
Good God, let me give you my life

Addiction

Heya Everyone
8 rules for Life💞:
1.See failure as a beginning,not an end.
2.If you dont go after it,you wont have it.
3.Always do more than is expected of you.
4.Assume nothing and question everything.
5.Make peace with past or else you will pay for it.
6.Stop thinking so much and start acting.
7.Never compare yourself to others.
8.Teach others what you know.

Affirmations

Have you ever felt being burdened by this immense feeling of losing it all voluntarily because of your own hopes but deep down you know the best part in your life, the love and affection you give and still crave for it from the other end, is going to end up sooner or later. 

But you keep on going because you are clinging to that fainted line of hope.

Adulting

I just broke up with my bf bc he spent 40k chatting w online findoms in 2021 w his beneficiary money. In January of 2022, I caught him chatting w these girls as he was sitting on the couch next to me. He spent 2k that day and masturbated in our work bathroom (we are coworkers) multiple times. He had been doing this many days/nights in a row before I found out. He said he was a sex addict. I helped him find a therapist & program. This was 2 months ago. Yesterday, he started to go through disclosure and he said that he’s spent over 100k in the last decade, probably more, 40k last year alone. He said he’s into findom, forced feminization and forced bi. He said he used to be in therapy but his dr freaked out when my exbf told him he was having intrusive, triggering thoughts involving underage people - the one thing he has absolutely never ever in any way acted on. I feel like I may never be the same person I was before I knew all this. I feel like this isn’t even real life.  

Cheating

You left too soon,
I wasn't finished loving you ❤️

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