Is anyone from Surat? This is my most desperate shot at making friends in this city 😭 lol

Friends

There is this friend of mine. I sent him a follow request in instagram waiting for him to accept and send a request back. As soon as he accepted and sent back the request, i clicked on the notification to accept  it, only to find it disappeared. I checked again and confirmed that he  had delted the request that he  had sent. After some days he sent the request again but this he didnt delete it. Does anyone have any idea why he did that?

Confusion

Newly shifted to a room with sharing first time and it feels so awkward being introvert, with this girl one sitting in front. They are here for more than a year. Me First time shifted out to another city, out of comfort zone. Is it like this? I want to set everything, asap🥲 but they will think kya itna jaldi hai. Even one said, unka to esa hi rakha tha. And I am so stressed how I will do it. When I have anxiety and mental health issues :/

Adulting

Feel like death is the only solution to ease the pain

Anxiety

Today is the 2nd day of fighting. I am just tired of everything that is happening in my life. I am trying so hard to be with him to make him feel supported in all ways. But when I flipped on something, I find myself alone. 
When I saw him normalising the things in a relationship which were not even normal, like checking out naked women on insta or getting on a video call with a girl co-worker. 
How can this be a normal even when it is happening infront of me. 
I feel so cheated, so broken that sometimes I just wish a death for myself. 
I am losing

Relationships

I hate myself from days to days

Self Esteem

If a guy who replies always 10 hrs to 15 more hrs later to your texts and comes back everytime I keep his texts on read. How is anyone so busy to reply ? Been 4 days and his texting pattern is very irritating. Just know each other via matrimonial platform. If not interested why do they do such weird things and initiate the conversation. 

3am Thoughts

All of my friends are telling me to tell the dude I like that I like him, so I made a plan today and was ready to tell him.
Then I saw him and he said hi and I couldn't do it.
He is my brother's friend so he comes over every now and then so I don't want things to be awkward. He also comes and sits with me and my friends at lunch for a bit every day.
I'm so scared but I keep thinking it's now or never. 
I just want to get my feelings off of my chest.
What should I do????



Does anyone ponder over the question? "Why should we live? Just because we are born? If else, what's the purpose of my life and how do I find it?" 

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts