In sooth, I know not why I am so sad. It wearies me; you say it wearies you. But how I caught it, found it, or came by it, What stuff 'tis made of, whereof it is born, 5 I am to learn. And such a want-wit sadness makes of me, That I have much ado to know myself.

😂 it's William Shakespeare Play merchant of Venice first'para.. and i am young boy 

3am Thoughts

Most of the time I do my work based on goals. But as soon as get idle time which is obvious as we cant be busy all the time, I start missing him badly(breakup done before 2 months). And I fear I will try convincing him in this bad missing state and end up losing my self image. 

I am actually afraid to heal. Because me entire identity is centered around the trauma and pain I’ve gone through and experienced. I have no idea who I am outside of this trauma. And this is extremely terrifying.


I have this friend whom I’ve known since I was a toddler, we were together for almost all our lives. From nursery to college, we were schoolmates if not classmates. We did everything together, literally. We have almost the same set of friends, but she was more outgoing so basically all my friends are her friends, and all her friends some of them are not my friends. We were somewhat best of friends but we dont really acknowledge it. She’s  better than me in all aspects. Im not insecure though hahahaha what bothers me is that whenever I make plans I usually think about her like she’s included with all my plans, may it be from the pettiest things to things for our future and the sad part is Im not part of hers 😢 There was this one time, we initiallny agreed on getting this “thing” together and invited some of friends with us but got postponed for some reasons, and then one day I heard from our other friend that they were already making plans of getting that “thing” without me being informed. I was disheartened. I was disappointed. And this happened not just once but countless of times already. What do I do? I love her with all my heart, its just that sometimes its because of her my mind will be in chaos 😭😭😭

I am literally a demotivating person who is demotivating all her friends. My exams is on Monday and i haven't studied anything and i am very much demotivated about it that i might fail and so i am telling all these nonsense to my friends and they are ignoring my messages cause i am being so negative rn. I suck. Really i feel like i am just a piece of sh t

Hi
it's my first time on this site. I just need to share all my thoughts and writing them in a diary isn't helpful. 
A lot has been happening lately but my main problem right now is an exam I have to take because I didn't pass the first time. I'm a physics student, just finished my third year and I've never had a problem with a subject like this one. I usually perform well on exams but this one is really hard. It's thermodynamics. I'm stressed out because I have 2days till the exam and I still don't know the material. It is really hard for me to understand anything and I've never had that problem. Also I don't have any motivation or interest in studying for that exam. This subject just triggers me and I don't want to spend time on it. 
But I really want to pass the exam and to not have to study for it again. The problem is that we have 300 problems and only 4 will be on the exam. So even if I learn how to solve 200 of them I still might not pass.
I'm really afraid I won't pass the exam and I'm constantly anxious and can't relax.
I have no idea what to do or what my mindset should be.

Thanks for taking the time to read my post ^^

Stress

Kinda feeling sad...now that the holidays are over...Ramadan is over and Eid is over too...Idk why I'm feeling ssooo soo bad about it...its like the life will get normal again..the tension....problems will appear again...the rat race and the stress of work will start soon...God 😭😭😭😭I'm feeling so anxious 

Confusion

Hey... Um  so honestly I feel sad today... I am 17 and I feel m actually too mature for my age..... Suffering from issues with parents.... They are very chaotic and usually always fight.... Whenever I tryna keep my point my dad either raise his voice or says me dumb to make his point valid... And I honestly already suffered from depression so as per experience I ans back him and says m not dumb and u r also not always right... Then typically like an Asian dad he says u r manner
less don't Uk how to talk with ur parents dumb girl... And rubbish.... Also my mom cheated on my dad many years ago but they sorted it and that too had being a reason for my mental health.... I was thinking even though things were happening like that I was so strong back then I never used to cry while speaking but now whenever I say a line to fight for me there s only tears coming from my eyes... M also giving 12 and also m tensed about exams and how should I study coz there s no peace at home and no privacy for me.... M a healer for many people.... Many friends share me their deepest secrets whereas I can't even trust to share my things again with people coz I already tried to open up my things with my BF but he changed the topic ...i took that as a red flag and I cut him of coz he was too toxic for me... I honestly tryna heal myself for everything.... But All bad things are happening at same time  ...m honestly fed up with everything ....wishing God to give me more strength and courage to let me pass through this tough time 😭I honestly m scared that history and my depression and all doesnt repeat itself 

https://open.spotify.com/track/74Gzc0L3VYvAt8sRNOXAbA?si=MLbRziDzQ9WD3SRQkJKFDQ&utm_source=copy-link
❤

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