Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

Im weird these days, i feel sick, i don’t want to do anything, i have no energy and i dont want to do anything, i just want to sleep and rest, my parents are working really hard to get me quality education and i realize my responsibilities and my duties, but i cant help but feel pressured, i have very bad anxiety and i have multiple panic attacks and breakdowns in school, i want to cry so much but i cant cry at home cuz i live in an apartment (more like a huge single room ) and i have a roommate who is older(20) than me (14) im a therapist for her i listen to her about her worries and she loves me a lot but if i cry in front of her shes just gonna worry abt me and feel bad. And bcz of my anxiety i feel so sad and uncomfortable, i feel broken, i try to zone myself out of conversations between my friends bcz i feel scared and want ti cry all the time… And non if my friends even care to ask me why im so quiet and i feel so lonely…i am a person who constantly needs care and affection and i hate myself for not being able to receive love and affection that i need…i feel like everyone has that one friend or someone who will be there with them till they grow up and they will have something special and they always have something interesting things to talk about with each other. Even my own bstfrnd seems more happy and interested in other girls’ conversation…im so alone…