I’m tired of having to constantly take care/repeat myself when it comes to my sibling who won’t stop drinking alcohol and smoking weed. Already has other medical issues and taking part in these things only makes the medical issues worse but refuses to stop and get the help needed. Isn’t in school or working and has loser friends that are just as useless. If anyone has personally gone thru this or knows anyone please tell me what I can do to help and get them the help needed. I’m tired and I’ve tried everything I can think of 

Did that. Says it won’t happen again. 2 days later back to square one. Won’t even entertain the idea of rehab and since over the legal age can’t force into rehab unless willing to go on own which isn’t likely either 

I agree with that but isn’t willing to go and doesn’t have a good male mentor around either which doesn’t help hence the failed life choices and regardless of all the love and support on my end doesn’t seem to make a difference 

Biologically yes but an active present father involved no

Sorry not sure how to do that/won’t allow me if I’m doing it that way I think it’s done 

Drug Abuse

What is truth ...
truth is in existential terms, not in the words we speak but in the way we are. We have to learn, how the essential nature of life is all-inclusive. This is the nature of truth and with absolute inclusiveness there can be no suffering.
     -Sadhguru

Life

Dear Ex ( don't know what to call her )
I really feel whatever happens with us it was most unimaginable thing for me and I really feel that we deserve although I know there is plenty of other things to say or listen You know what I really loved when I hear you and see you that u wanted to fight with this world for your dreams and also I saw a strong character which was quite rare to find in these days and also a rare person and whatever happens between us I'm sure it is worst possible scenario for me and yes your thoughts always roaming in my mind and the way I talk to my own self it is like I'm just imagine you front of me and I'm not ashamed to say I still love you but I also wanted to say that I also feel that you are not worthy for my respect and trust and the way you treat me and the way you say lies and treat me very ill way it makes me sick from you and sometimes I felt it is you or I never see these things due to my own ignorance I always wanted best for you and i just forgive you whatever you did because I think there is somewhere inside there is a good person and there is plenty of things which I wanted to tell you but I don't think it is better to connect with each other and I also learn that never trust someone blindly and never stay available everytime for someone because then they take you granted and also it shows me that love is quite rare because peoples don't wanna struggle with you but yup they wanted to enjoy with you and if someone meant to you than they never say any kind of sweet words actually they speak truth and once you said that don't expect loyalty to some cheap person I think you said that right and I wish you a great future hope your all dreams fullfill and wish you always smile because it is kinda good 

Relationships

I feel very sad no friend in girl please girl friendship me

Friends

Fhcbvcyh gfghh 

Bipolar Disorder

i feel sick i dont have energy for anything my body hurts this is so unbearable i hate this

Depression

Erm idk if this  is a comfortable topic , I just want to rant abit. Okay firstly , I believe the school “care counsellor “ did called my parents quite a few times . At first I didn’t know  about that , but then I overheard like the conversation between them . I was like wtf why would u think counselling my parents about me behind my back would really help the situation if I accidentally overheard the conversation, which I did . It just make me feel even bad about myself more and feel clueless about what’s going on. Then when I stay to listen longer ( my dad was on the phone), my Mum came and was like you shouldn’t be eavesdrop about others conversation, the guy is counselling your father not you . Then I was like wtf again shouldn’t I know about my own situation ?instead of u trying to help me , shouldn’t I be also helping myself? I was damn mad . Tbh, I hate 1, Counselors. Because if they really work , why would the amount of suicidal cases rapidly increasing even for victims that had already visited the counselling? Doesn’t make sense right? Close to 800000 people dying every year, which means that every 40 seconds , one person died. I really don’t trust the counsellors as a personally  heard a lot of cases where the Counsellors were actually the ones that make the people commit sucked. What more the school since what they are the best at is to brain wash your children and tell them study and study and study and nothing more . Isn’t that wat school's about ? At least in my country . I would say we would have pretty high standards when it comes to education and very one is very competitive about it . That’s why it gets very stressful . I really don’t know the motive of them . I would say I have depression and it was much worse a few years ago but I seem to be coping very well right now , having more friends that are genuinely nice and not so toxic. I would have to agree I’m a-bit complicated to understand as I don’t get affectionate to one quickly but I really would like people to understand and respect my privacy and why I chose to build this wall around me . I’m really not the extreme case so I would break my walls for people I think deserves it so I really wish they could give me time and by being nice to me instead of communicating with the counsellors which I’ve never met before in my life and probably don’t know a single shit about me . Honestly , if you are a parent , and a random dude just decides to call you and be like hey you child needs help , would u really trust them? I really don’t get what parents are thinking . Shouldn’t you communicate with your children first? If u, someone who live with you child , cannot find the main reason as to why the child feels sad or is completely unknown about it ,what more about a complete stranger ? I was very pissed at that time . Secondly, I hate peoples who talks behind my back . I don’t care if it for my own good or talking bad about me . If you have anything you want to say to me just say it in my face . Don’t  be such a coward and talk behind my back. If you want the best for me tell me what wrong with me instead of discussing with a random stranger about how to help me . I really hate the fact that u say it’s for my own good yet I am not allowed to listen to the conversation . What is this dumb logic? Growing up with problematic friends was already a big no no, yet I have to deal with naive parents who just trust any guy just because he claims that he is the school counsellor . That’s one of the main reason I don’t disclose anything that is important  to my parents , knowing that they would just dismiss it or start ranting about me to not be complacent. They are the one if the reasons .I had depression because of their acts that hurt me without them even realising. Like please, you're an adult. Don’t you have the basic sense to know what to say and what not to? Come on, I can think better then do, and I haven’t even graduated form school. Well , scrolling through the contact list , I realised  that there was no one I could completely trust so I decided to post in this platform . I really hope to meet nice people who can talk to me about how to handle this situation. I have no mood to be talking to my parents now. Thank you so much to any kind souls out there.

It is what it is >>>>>> ghuma fira k baat karna !!

3am Thoughts

I never give up but I had to give up on marvel’s 

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts