I’m tired, I’m tired of living, believing in God… waking up everyday and doing what I do. I just wanna give up. And if I didn’t have people counting on me, I would… My mother is disabled and sick, she was sent to a rehab but she didn’t wanna stay and try to walk. So she came home and nurses were sent here for her to try and walk… they are no longer coming bc she is showing “no improvement” she isn’t trying… and i can only do so much. I’ve have up so much… I’m only a kid and I wanna live my life… the problem isn’t me changing her or me staying home all the time. I actually don’t mind, well… I wouldn’t mind if she would try. She won’t even try to move. She just lays there. Which makes my job harder… And she can move… I’ve seen her move. But she won’t… And she’s getting weaker bc of her not moving. And I’ve tried everything. I’ve thought about grabbing a knife and telling her if u want me to not cut myself come take the knife from me. Or take my brother away for awhile and tell her she can’t see him until she trys… she won’t sit up… she won’t help me change her… she won’t do her exercises… And i end up so exhausted mentally and physically I don’t clean the house so the house is disgusting… And i can’t play with my brother so hes starting to get depressed… my older sister and uncle both live here… But won’t do anything, won’t help or anything… I’ve been thinking of ways to make online money while I say home (if any suggestions) I wanna move… But I honestly can’t bc the only my uncle does do is pay the bills. And sometimes helps me pick her up he just gets pissed off at me for asking. But I’m lost. And my family won’t let my call hospis and I don’t wanna send her anywhere. I just don’t know what to do. I’m honeslty losing it
You know, you badly needed a friend to talk to always. We have the same type of problem. But the thing is I have someone I can talk to. So I always shrug it off. And keep going. I am my mom’s child when her husband and her family were giving up on her. And you know what’s the worst? She gave up. Always on the bed. And I even have my own brother I have to take care off. And I don’t know what to do. I tried to kill myself secretly. But thankfully, I gained friends and I have friends to talk to whenver I am feeling down. You know I came to that point, and the best thing to think for now is that you should be the one to be strong. You should be the one who’s not giving up. You should be the strength of your mom, your brother. Problems are problems. Let the problems problem you. But you should not forget your responsibilities. I know it is hard and tough but you have to stay strong and fight. Fighting!
