Life

I feel like I'm a disappointment. My mind is clouded with bad thoughts and I couldn't do my school works properly.

Exhausted

Kl meet hoga ya nahi ? 
Will there be a meet tomorrow?

Hope

I don’t know exactly, I’ve had a bad past and came across it but even after years it still flashes in front of me 

Anyone up

3am Thoughts

The guy whom I'm in love with since a year now is in love with my best friend. And the guy himself is no less than a best friend to me , because of which and for their happiness I need to pretend that I'm over him despite knowing how hopelessly I'm in love with him.


Depression

so sometimes i just have these hatred attacks towards myself( i don't even know if this is a thing lol) , it comes in sometimes out of nowhere or when i remember something triggering, i get really anxious and i feel really upset and angry if there's someone bsides me i'll probably yell at them if there's no one i'll just break something or hit my head in the wall (without really hurting myself tho) i get this feeling of like cringe and i keep yelling at my thoughts to just shut up, it's really stressful. Usually when this happens to calm down i fix my vision on a specific point and i start counting or dictating the multipication tables ( it might be weird but i do it to cope, to force myself to focus on something so that i can have my mind clear of everything else and just numb myself) Sometimes it really works but sometimes it still keeps going, usually as i said it happens after something triggers me, something someone said, something i've seen, a memorie that i have remebered or simply just when i think about something i have told myself im not supposed to and then when i realize it's when it starts and i beat myself for it. Does anyone know what is it? and how can i help it?

Other

Your parents will always tell you, that if you aren't studying then you gonna waste another year of your life studying the same. They are not updated so they will say, what worked in their time, it's not wrong to say though. 
But you are updated, studying something that you don't want to, is waste of career instead of year. Keep exploring, until u dont find what's best for you. Your life isn't about age, it is about serving yourself purpose. 

Motivation

What is something that most people don't know?

✍🏻 Conditioning: We are groomed at a very early age on what to think, say, behave and how to live our life with little thought of what we want.

✍🏻 Bad times: At your lowest point in your life you will find out who truly cares about you.

✍🏻 Approval: The majority of your life is spent seeking approval from others. In reality, all you have to do, is seek approval of yourself.

✍🏻 Chances: You will spend a good portion of your life giving 2,3,4,5 chances to someone that doesn’t deserve an ounce of your energy.

✍🏻 Uber drivers: They only make 55–60% of the total fare.

✍🏻 Childhood Trauma: We go through life, attracting the very people that will subconsciously teach us the most of painful life lessons. Lack of self love.

✍🏻 Acceptance: Most will stay in shitty jobs, shitty relationships, while posting the American Dream on social media.

✍🏻 Social media: It is a world of delusion and narcissism. Who can make their way life/relationship appear better than the next.

✍🏻 Fear: We all live in fear. Fear of being alone, fear of what others think, fear of not living up to societal norm. But In reality, what we really fear is being authentic.

✍🏻 No one gives a shit: No one truly cares about you. They care about the status symbols, but no one really cares if you’re happy.

✍🏻 Toxic person: You will love the most toxic person in your life the most. While telling others, they don’t understand.

✍🏻 True love: It does exist. I know it does. You will find it when you aren't desperately searching for it.

✍🏻 True Colors: When someone shows who they are with actions and not words. Please believe them. They aren’t lying.

✍🏻 Life: It’s a game of trial and errors. Some learn quicker than others, while others repeat the same painful lessons.

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