Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

I’m so tired… I should’ve of listened to them when they told me to get help when I was younger. Now it caught up with me. I have no choice now but to deal with these issues within myself. I longer feel like myself. I don’t know who I am anymore. I’m scared that she’s gone forever. I wish I was like other women, confident in who they are and the ones who don’t care what others think. They are confident in who they are and move on a special frequency. I wish that was me. The anxiety I get from even thinking about creating friendships with people is exhausting. I can’t trust anyone and when I try to socialize with anyone just even a little I feel terrible after. They say try to put yourself in uncomfortable situations so you can grow but when I do force myself it just makes me feel worse after every time. It doesn’t feel like it gets better like people say. I want to heal but how can I when I don’t know how to. I feel stuck.I’ve been feeling stuck for a long time now. It’s not I can see the light above me but I can’t seem to reach it. I’m held down. I’m so tired of fighting this battle. It gets so lonely. Everyone around me seems to have it together and if they go through something in life they get through it it seems like I just stay stuck. I don’t understand.