Iβm so exhausted. So tired. Been feeling terrible these past few weeks and today Iβm running a fever. Also have a damn exam to write tmrw. After getting to know I have a slight fever, my mom has been saying such horrible things to me for the past three hours. Itβs too much to bear. I couldnβt become a better child, a better sibling, a better friend, a better human. She does this very often actually, for hours and those words she uses are so harsh itβll make u wanna kill urself. In recent times Iβve thought of giving in and being free from this hell for once n for all. But now I think sheβll be the one to put that bullet thru my head, she said she would. Iβve become a burden here, Iβm afraid she wouldnβt directly do anything, but slow death, slow torture are the weapons. For a person like me who feels way too deeply for this world, Iβm falling apart even more than before. Looks like Iβll be living a dead life for these years to come, lol so much for the future. I have anxiety, depression, and lost and confused. Seeking out for help has backfired already, and now Iβm stuck here, me one against this world. Itβs really exhausting, really painful, mentally and physically, Iβm just tired. I wanna quit. I want out. I donβt think the single thread Iβm hanging on will last long. Itβs been years this is happening and tired of fighting now. Have always been alone most of life, but now it feels even more scary and lonely. Itβs not safe here, Iβm afraid. Iβll never grow, never be me ever again here, love kindness hope idk what they are having never experienced them to much extent. I thought Iβll carry on to those few happy moments, kind gestures i hardly saw these years, but thatβs not working anymore. Iβm desperate, i want to live, to see and feel this life without being ridiculed, without being threatened and buried for. I want to rest, Iβm tired. Very tired.
May be she is worried about you.
So she is saying that you have exam and you are not fine.
She is upset about that.
Hey, please donβt be disheartened. Itβs so sickening to see parents being brutal to their own kids instead of being of any help. But I hope you find your happy place soon. Thereβs always a light waiting for you. Hope you meet your light of happiness soon. :)) Hang in there!