I'm so done with everyone istg
Ohh you think I'm wrong?
Ohh yes I def am, now kindly f##k off👍👍

Binge Eating

I walked up to my younger sister, and waited while she paused the movie that she was watching. "Would you be able to finish cooking the snicker doodles in the kitchen? I'm eating too much of them; I don't want to eat the batter, and all of that sugar. I don't like it, but I just do anyway. Could you please finish cooking them?" She looked at me, confused, 'If you don't like eating that much, then why don't you just... not?' I inwardly screamed, 'I don't know!' but I just said to her, 'The best way for me to explain it is that I just can't stop.' After a few awkward moments she said 'OK' and walked into the kitchen while I ran into my bedroom and hid my face in my pillow.

Okay so i used to be in a situationship with a friend of mine he turnt out to be a bitch so i ghosted him real bad 
I now have a mutual friend who is close with both of us he (situationship) is trying his level best to seperate me from that person and today she called me real stressed out because he was making her choose between me and him also I can give u an example as to why I cut him off (after I ghosted him I was called by friend to be present in the canteen before I reached there he told her secretly  mocking me that she should'nt go with me to washroom because I am a lesbian, which I am not and I told him that I am bisexual, he has been blatently racist and colourist at the same time) I don't give a fuck about this bitch but it is now pissing me off that he is trying his best to manipulate my friend . 
she is very stressed because she considers us both very close I find this drama very stupid tbh literally such a time waste I am just minding my own business n

Friends

I wish he is mine🥺😞

All time favourite poem (and/or poet)?

Books

okay so my life has been awful the past months i mean i feel terrible all the time but these months it’s just too much. a cute thing happened to me the other day. a girl from my class who i recently got close with and really like her went travelling and left her iqos with me to guard it because her parents don’t know that she smokes. i was really excited i mean she has other friends but chose me. i told about it to my best friends and was really happy i just felt great but i should’ve known i should not talk about something nice because everything fucks up later. this morning i dropped it. it still works but it’s scratched and battered. i don’t know if all of it’s scratches are from me bc i don’t remember how it looked like before but i’m so stressed. i’ve been crying since it happened. bro i’m so worthless i can’t keep a single thing in my hands. i wanted to buy her a new one but she will notice. i started coming up with lies to tell her but no matter what i tell her she’s never gonna give me anything to guard again. even if i tell her i dropped it and i’m willing to buy a new one she will be like “no need r u crazy it still works” but i’m sure she’ll lose faith in me and never give it again. and she’ll tell other people about it and will be mad and disappointed and i am mad and disappointed at myself too. last year, 2 days after i got my phone i dropped it. a few years ago i did the same thing but worse. my mom got me a glass bottle the other day i nearly broke it the same day. i’m going insane everything about me sucks i’m feeling so guilty and i am guilty. she’s going to hate me and i like her so much. i hate myself. 

Stress

Have been listening to this song... "Jaane wo kaise log the jinke pyaar ko pyaar mila" 
And honestly this is the most relatable song that I have found till now.


One Sided Love

An year ago I met a guy on Tinder. We met after a month. We had instant connection. We started dating after from then on. After a month my family got to know about the relationship. They beat me n called him. He came Just for my sake. He got a slap too. but he didn't Said a word. I was so grateful to him for that. We continued dating , after the incident i respected him more. And there was some guilt too. Then everything was going nicely , he started to manipulate n Gaslight me. He used to body shame me. I neglected everything. In January i had a surgery so I was on bedrest we couldn't meet for 1 month. In this time there was too many issues but i was positive that i can make it work.
I went to meet him. My brother got to know n told my mother. This time she beat me more aggressively than last time. I was bedridden for another month. But this time he didn't came. I was expecting that he'd come for me but he didn't. He vacated the flat where he used to live. He left me alone in this chaos. My family gives me taunt everytime. Even now i can't walk. But I'm so disappointed rn like how can he do this. What was the reason. I was ready to Marry him,when he asked me. And he left me like this after knowing me .
I can't think straight anymore. I'm unable to cry. No friends. Lonely.

Breakup

Hello everyone. 

Hope you are all good. I want to share something that I have a few days to live. Actually I have cancer and I am in the last stage. Honestly I don't want to die, I want to live more. This scares me. Everyday, I thought it was my last day. I wish some miracle would happen😅😅. But that's okay, I want to live these few days full of happiness.  Hope here I got some good friends whom I will remember even after death. 😅😅😅

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts