I’m scared my depression is coming back… I fought of my depression 2 years ago, but now it’s seems like I’m falling into the pit again, I hate it here, I’m just empty.
I’ve lost the will to apply for a kinda study program, I’ve been working on the application for the past months, every time I think of applying I starts crying now. The program offers help by having students read through your application before you send it in. And I just got mine back there where no positive comments, they were lashing out about my spelling (I’m dyslexic, you don’t really put that in your application, but it still hurt). My ideas just got torn down and I feel utterly stupid and useless. They only accept one person per class, and I’m going up against my great friend and we talked it through, and I feel we we can get through only one of us getting chosen, but don’t feel like trying anymore, and I’m scared of telling her because im afraid she’d say i can’t take criticism. Maybe I’m too sensitive, maybe it’s me, it just didn’t feel like criticism, it felt like they tore my whole application apart and threw it on the floor. I just feel dumb and empty, and I don’t want to do it anymore.
I don’t think you’re overly sensitive. Just what you should be. I would be feeling down as well if that happened to me, don’t worry it’s normal. I just believe the people that had to comment your application didn’t consider the possibility that you might have dislexia, which I think you should have mentioned. But still, it’s okay to feel down because of this. Just remember that these people do not know you, therefore they can’t purposely target you. They insensitivily commented on your paper but that’s fine, the best you can do is try again, reflect on the mistakes you’ve made maybe seek help from someone to redo the application if needed and if you don’t get in then it’s their loss. That’s just how life works. At least you’ll be Prepared for the professional life. But fr tho, the best that can ever happen to you is to understand that it’s okay to receive negativity, bad comments or whatever, as long as you learn how to reflect on them, figure out whether they’re actually critics that can help you be better at what you do or only hate comments (those you don’t need to worry about).
(Oh and btw, it’s okay to give up, just make sure that’s really what you want to do. If it’s not and you’re just afraid, then don’t, try your best and if you fail, life goes on)