I’m sad. I recently went through a breakup, my parents have expectations that I can’t fulfill or I don’t want to fulfill, no one cares about me or my mental health, I’m not happy with my body, and I hate myself. I took around 6-7 of these online depression tests and all of them say that I’m severely depressed, but I can’t do anything about it because where I live, mental health is not a thing. I can’t concentrate on studies, I feel tired and sleepy all the time, no matter how much I sleep, and I have these fluctuating periods of over eating and loss of appetite. Done feel like doing anything and I’m sort of losing interest in things that I loved doing earlier. I have these breakdowns in the middle of the night where I just can’t stop crying and I miss him so much. My mom calls me fat, people say I’m arrogant or irritating, and he has made it clear that we’re not getting back together. I think I’m going paranoid and nothing makes sense anymore. I just feel like a failure and I think it would be better if I was dead. But I can’t kill myself, because I’m a coward. I can never gather enough courage to jump off. I want to die but I can’t, and it hurts.