I’m sad. I recently went through a breakup, my parents have expectations that I can’t fulfill or I don’t want to fulfill, no one cares about me or my mental health, I’m not happy with my body, and I hate myself. I took around 6-7 of these online depression tests and all of them say that I’m severely depressed, but I can’t do anything about it because where I live, mental health is not a thing. I can’t concentrate on studies, I feel tired and sleepy all the time, no matter how much I sleep, and I have these fluctuating periods of over eating and loss of appetite. Done feel like doing anything and I’m sort of losing interest in things that I loved doing earlier. I have these breakdowns in the middle of the night where I just can’t stop crying and I miss him so much. My mom calls me fat, people say I’m arrogant or irritating, and he has made it clear that we’re not getting back together. I think I’m going paranoid and nothing makes sense anymore. I just feel like a failure and I think it would be better if I was dead. But I can’t kill myself, because I’m a coward. I can never gather enough courage to jump off. I want to die but I can’t, and it hurts.
" I want to die but I can’t, and it hurts." dude I gonna be honest, I wish I realized this earlier. I didn’t wanna die I never wanted to. I just didn’t wanna live this way. I had given up. But in truth, I wanted to live, LIVE. Not survive the day and pass the night. The Proof? Put your hand on your chest. Do you feel it? Your Lungs they have been breathing and giving you oxygen every second of your being. When you want to run, they breath quicker. When you didn’t as much oxygen they slow down. What would they do if you didn’t want any? Now move a little to the left. Your hand that is. Do you feel it? Your Heart it’s been beating every second of your being. When you want to run, it beats quicker. When you didn’t as much blood its slow down. So you haven’t even convinced yourself that you wanna die right?
