Thought

@c1trus

I’m quite unsure of what to do.

So recently, my older sister is getting on my nerves. She keeps disrespecting our Mother, always throw tantrums and acts like a brat.

Normally, I I’d let it pass if she cuss on me but even if she asks for a permission or a favor she would use an unpleasant voice that would freaking irritate me, like do you freaking use that undesirable tone and unfriendly words when you ask for a favor? Then, she would reply annoyingly.

In our current situation, food is quite scarce. So she pisses me more because she keeps cooking the foods that was scheduled for another time. In my perspective, she’s very greedy on food. When I share my food, she will ate almost half of it. When I asks for food, what will I get? An earful of bullshits. She’ll only give me if I tell her the things I’ve shared or the favours I did for her. That’s why I giving her tabs.

One time, she threw a bottle of vinegar at me. It got on my nerves so I took the bottle and throw it right back at her. After that, Mother scolded us, specifically me.

Moreover, when it comes to worshipping God, she would be so disrespectful. When praying, her eyes won’t even close and she directly acts like an uncultured swine towards our cousins, like saying that how disgusting our cousin’s menstruation that was left on the bathroom side, when she herself put her pads on the bathroom for how many days, or on how she never flushes her bloodied pee.

Additionally, she thinks that she owns everything in the house. For example, the laptop we bought was partly my money, hers and Mother’s. Actually, it was my birthday gift and she just tagged a long. 50% of the money was mine, while mother’s was 35% and hers was the remaining. Whenever I need it for school purposed, she would use it on unnecessary things like watching some stupid shits. Then, another argument would start.

Next, the bike we bough half-half, she monopolized its usage to its full extent. I don’t have any qualm on that cuz I can’t use it, but when our cousin ask to use it, she freaking put a padlock to it so our cousin won’t be able to use.

What’s worse is, Mother favors her more than me. Like, why the hell am I blamed for not lending the bike when I’m not even the one who padlocked it?

Those above are just me venting. Reason for this post? I’m having murderous thoughts. Like, if she do something disrespectful again, I will smash her face, hit her in her vital points or poison her.

At some point, I’m really thinking of doing those horrible things and do even more violent things. What’s holding me back is the reason of :" What would happen next if I did it? Will it feel euphoric? Or will my conscience attack me? If I did it, should I kill myself next?"

Murder is a sin. So, I kept praying that these thoughts would calm down.

🏫
2 replies
🏫
Anonymous
•

i have same behaviour issues wid younger sister of mine. but i spoke to my mother about it with patience nd that helped. i didn’t talk in front of my sister but alone. u think at can help u? try it out?

@c1trus
•

I’ll try that. Thanks.

Read more

Hemaprasad GS @munna_hp

Feeling broken, relationship of 14 years have come to end an… Read more
5

hm @hm

So this happened.. My long distance bf told me that (a gf of… Read more
2
👀
Anonymous
my friend S and i both were sad and crying. but my friend D … Read more
👀
Anonymous
my friend and i both both were crying. but my other friend o… Read more
👀
Anonymous
Being sad , depressed full of anxiety on birthday ..........… Read more
22
@kurushika198
My chihuahua just ate a grape and I’m really scared
3
Profile picture for Now&Me member @goldeneyed

Golden @goldeneyed

Home sweet home India❤
9
Profile picture for Now&Me member @krieshiiii

krieshi🌈 @krieshiiii

Everyone in our institution yelling at us because we didn't … Read more
20