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Self HarmThought

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Anonymous

Im not sure how to describe it and i dont know how to identify this period of time. I was feelign overwhelmed with emtions and did not know what to do. I had cut myself for the first time. It was small and only one or two. But i did it the next day and maybe only one more dag after that but i stopped myself before i couldnt stop. And i hadnt ever done it again. I thought about it for an entire year after but i didnt do it. I have thought about it but i havent. But i question myself how pathetic i may hve been. Did i even “self-harm” can i even say i self harmed. It seemed so parhetic to myself that i couldnt do it that it healed so quickly and i was just starving for attention, thats why i did it right? I shoudlnt tell anyone bc technically i didnt do it? Even though i did it i never went “deep” so i didnt technically do it right? I never did it for a long time so it didnt happen right? But i still did it so am i able to tell myself or others that it even happened. I dont know and i question myself about hat time of life. And i just tell myself to not talk about it bc i was just attention seeking so i dont want to lie. Its so confusing to me but in the end i just believe im a terrible person

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2 replies
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Anonymous

Hi anonymous!
First of all, I wanna say that you are not a terrible person. I have the same experience as you do. I thirst of attention from everyone at that time, even shown my cut to my friends and boyfriend, but I didn’t have the courage to tell my parents because for sure they would kick me out of the house, I cut a lot on my wrist and it was terrible, I didn’t even know why I did it or if there is something that pushed me to do it and all I can think of too, is I needed the attention so badly.

And all I could say towards you is, Good Job and Congrats for doing the right thing, and that is to stop cutting :). Also, if you feel like this is really heavy and you needed someone to talk to about this, I suggest you to talk to someone really close to you, telling your parents might be a bad idea but I think it’ll stop your conscience of doing something bad to your body without them knowing, I regretted not telling them till these days cuz I really have strict parents and I already know the result of me telling them. But I hope, if ever you’ll tell your parents, they would understand you and give you attention that you deserve. after all, you’re still a human. we are sinners, we couldn’t avoid them, we made mistakes, that’s only natural for humans but this will serve as a lesson that the wrong doings that we did should be stop and never commit that deed again. I hope this helps! I hope that everything would turn out fine :) also if you’re still having a hard time, all of us here, is willing to help you and listen to you <3. You are loved, remember that xoxo.

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Simran @st1199

Hello!
No, it’s for the attention you did. People will seek sympathy/pity for you which shouldn’t be the case and I hope you don’t want that. You want people to love you, care for you, ask about you and your day, right? And possibly that isn’t happening so you thought this thing could gain attention?

Now, understand this. Self-harming will lead only to hurt yourself and you will get a scar which can trigger you later in life. There could be many ways to seek attention if you want that but harming is NOT the solution. Don’t feel pathetic, it’s been done just don’t repeat it and if you feel the urge to do it then I suggest meeting a therapist or research everything what is causes/treatments, etc.
A small cut on the outside or a cut deep inside is considered a cut. The depth doesn’t matter but the THOUGHT of self-harming does.

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