I’m not feeling good for a while now. This has been happening even before the lockdowns. I’m just fighting with everyone, pushing people away, ignoring people and avoiding conversations. I’ve gone from exercising regularly and enthusiastically to not exercising at all. I’ve been either binging or staying under calories only to feel famished and faint-ish. I’ve been purging out deliberately every third day now. I don’t know what to. I’m getting very negative and self-destructive thoughts at all times like falling from roof or having a risking illness. Things people have said to me in the past are just roaming around in my head and I’m finding faults in me. I just feel super stuck and lost.
i 100% know where you are coming from, i have been pushing people away too and deliberately not want to make conversation. but i’ve realised recently that my mental health is not good, and i need to focus on what i want. so i’ve decided to find some motivation and get fit, try to talk to more people and compliment them. this lockdown has made me think about every single think, normally i’m not an over thinker but it’s made me analyse everything. we can do this together, you are strong and amazing. please don’t distance yourself from your friends, you will regret it. also try to get into a good routine, you will feel so much better about yourself. keep smiling you are amazing :)
Read this thought and felt as if I have written it because I’ve been going through the EXACT same thing! I’m pushing people away, bingeing and then purging. I completely understand what you’re going through. So, i took a lot of courage but I discussed this with a friend and he helped me out. He just heard me for 2 hours on the phone and made me feel better. Another thing which helps meis staying focused on my work. That way I don’t let these things bother me and I end up no thinking about food. Walking also helps i.e.doing about 10k steps in a day. Keeps me busy