I'm just worried about how I'll move out of my house and live confidently.

Stop these assumptions the only way to get A answer of it is to go and experience it you have to leave your home your comfort zone to pursue your dreams so if you are doing it do it with whole courage

Anxiety

I want to scream loud... Very very loud... Wanna free my soul from these insane heartless people's cage... Wanna free my body my mind... Is there no way for me... oh god please have some mercy on me... Can't you see my tears, my broken pieces... Please set me free

They don't see the late nights and early mornings. They don't see the painstaking care that you put into your work. They don't see when it's unglamorous. When it isn't pretty. They don't see the long hours when you do the exact same thing over and over again in order to make it just right. Every day, you're doing things that nobody sees. You're working in silence. Investing your time and energy into this vision you can't get out of your head. And every day, you're showing up for yourself with no guarantees that it's ever going to lead you anywhere. Nobody's watching you, crowning you with praise and adoration. Nobody's giving you awards for your commitment and consistency. There is no applause. But one day, you're going to look back on these moments, and you'll know that this is why you made it. You weren't lucky. It didn't just fall into your lap. You chose it. You sacrificed for it. You built it. And you didn't just stumble upon your success - you succeeded on purpose.

Growing Up

If I scream loud enough will you hear me?

One Sided Love

I'm not at my best. Wanna stay away from any human contact which is not possible. Should I go for a run? 

Conflict

You're not happy but pretend to be.. Don't know where to start to describe your pain.. as society don't accept or make relationship with week mental health person... So, you kept your pain inside you.. 

3am Thoughts

" where were you before you met me?"

" I think, i was drowning"

"And what are you now?"

"Water "


Need energy to pass my day.

I think writing as an anonymous person is better because I don't even feel like an actual person sometimes. Nevertheless. 
Some days are good, most days are cloudy, and the remaining days are numb. I still feel happy every now and then, but I feel sadness in the same breath. Some of it has to do with how I feel about my upcoming medical entrance exam, rest of it has to do with living in itself. 
Regarding the exam, I feel like I'm at a point where I can't make much of a difference, and it hurts to try when you feel so hopeless. So I end up not trying, and feel guilty about that. 
Regarding life, well, where should I start? I just feel stuck. I feel like I'm in the same place I was a year ago. I don't have a shoulder to cry on, and the person who wants to lend their shoulder isn't someone who would understand this overwhelming sadness inside me. I've heard of and known people who feel empty, I can't relate to that. I have too many emotions to process to ever feel empty. I have either too many memories or the lack of it to cry about. I have a family, but I don't feel like I know any one of them other than my mom. I have friends, but they're not the kind of people I need. I have arms and limbs and a fully functioning body and brain, but that doesn't keep me from feeling unfortunate.
I understand that it's not right of me to be so dissatisfied with life when I have so much that so many people don't. I've tried to reason with myself, but I've come to understand that emotions can't always be reasoned with. 

For the first time in 2-3 years, I looked at the idols that are worshipped in my house and cried. I'd given up on believing that there was someone up there looking after me. It gets hard to believe that when all you feel is misery. 

I'm sad about my dysfunctional family, my dipping academics, my inability to form good relations with people, my inability to believe in something good ever happening to me: that's why I'm sad. 

If you've read till here, thank you for taking time to understand my pain. It really does mean a lot to me. 

Also, I've been wanting to say this to someone: the only superpower I would like is the ability to make it rain when I feel sad. It is comforting to feel like I'm not alone in my misery. 

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts