I’m in love with ___and there’s nothing I can do to stop it. I could try to move on, but that would only make me fall in love with two people at the same time. I really don’t understand the point of falling in love, it just hurts, amazing when it lasts, just like hell when it doesn’t. Honestly, I’m tired of this, always waiting longer than I will receive.
I don’t know who hurts each other more, he can’t help me and I can’t help him. I make everything worse with us. I hate fighting with him, but it’s a bad habit. My anxiety is killing me to even look at him. I need help, serious help. I just don’t reach out to get it. I’m a bad person, I wish that he could love me, or that I could get rid of these feelings. I’ve prayed and prayed but they just won’t go away, I don’t care if I regret it in the end, it’s either I get rid of these feelings or they end up to be the death of me.
I forgot what hating myself felt like, because I loved him so much to the point of me forgetting my self hate. But It’s always here, and I’m stupid enough to let it ruin my relationship with him. I hid the cuts with my bracelets. When I saw him, I took off the bracelets and just pulled up my sleeves. He’s gonna be the death of me one day, and I know, no matter how hard I try to avoid it, he will still hurt me the same way again.
He will never love me the way I love him, I know that. He’d fall in love with __ quicker than he’d become friends with me. But that’s good for him, at least she can help him and he can help her. They’re perfect for each other.
I hate feeling this way, will it ever go away? It’s just constantly hurting, I can’t do anything about it. I hate him, I hate her, I hate me the most. I hate everything, except for Selena. I could never hate her or leave her. But I can hate him and leave him. No matter how much it would hurt me to do so, it would be better for him.
I know he’ll never read this, and I’m glad about that. But if you ever do, I’m sorry ___. I just hate myself too much to keep hurting myself to love you. I don’t even know half the things I say anymore, my head hurts and so does my heart.
This is an old vent I found just a while ago. I’m over him now, and it’s nice to reminince(that’s not how you spell it.)
Each paragraph is a few weeks or days apart.
