Im going to change my reality. The parental influence one requires to grow has never been in my favour. But I am strong. I know it.

Mental Health

I just watched a movie named Luca(malyalam), i was literally crying 😭
Sad love story.....

3am Thoughts

So my brother had a rehearsal. So i was just giving the ques for his practice...my dad sended me the script i needed time to read and go through it as a practice.... Not even 2 mins my dad said me.... Comeon How much more time u need for this? I said give me 1 min he said learn it loudly i said no its alright i ll just read it and will Help him dk suddenly what change his mood he got angry and aaid udont wanna do what i say... U are just overconfident.... i said i didn't even say u anything how could u say this.... He said you just bullshit... You ll just  suffer in future with struggles u Are just shit and u always ruin my mood.... Istg i stopped myself from crying bc i dont wanted my bro's rehearsal to get messed up... I thought gods testing me and wanna teach me something but that hurts. M proud how i handled myself in that situation and now m just drained 

Anxiety

I’ve developed so much passive aggression from this relationship. It’s spilling into interactions with new ppl… I don’t think I’ve EVER been this way. So outwardly negative. Oozing disdain for someone I now casually label “my toxic friend” . Wtf is that- you know?

I really gotta let you go dude. I really do.

Is there some one who is willing to talk to me? Willing to be a friend? I am tired of expressing myself infront of people who are supposed to be my frnd but instead just hear them say that get over it, chill kar, why are you such an overthinker.. because I am! I am not a sorted, sane person. I am super complicated and messed up. I am full of worries, anxiety and depression. Looking for someone who understands how harsh it is when your own mind is your biggest enemy. Someone who related to how tough it is to have even 0.1% positivity. If there is somone here who has gone through this and can feel it too, I politely ask for your help

You know it's like i don't understand why it didn't work for me. I mean my pvs partner literally brought me down to my lowest. Did all the bad things with me. Blamed everything on me. Made my life hell. Screamed screamed and then just went on with his life. Achieved many things. Going on fast track. Now I don't wanna sound jealous but hello? Where is karma?? Why am I the one stuck since 2yrs? My life getting nowhere all am getting is failure! What is wrong? I feel so messed up rn. I feel soo betrayed and soo jealous I swear. So bitter. He shouldn't be doing good. Why am I feeling this? Why it's happening with me?? I don't understand how to deal with this! I am losing my mind 😢😢😢 Please help 😔😔

Failure




Sometimes i feel like my dad has something against me, I don’t understand why he can’t stand seeing me happy and can’t stop comparing me with my cousins whom I barely know. He didn’t even want me to go to college cuz he thought I wouldn’t make it while my mom was the only one looking over me and believe in me, helping me study (she’s a teacher) and helping me in any way she could. He’s always mean to me in the way he speaks, like he’s always mad while i’ve done nothing wrong. Next summer we are planning a trip to a country i’ve always dreamed of visiting, a place where coincidentally my cousin is studying in, I’ve been wanting to go there way before she did, I even remember the time 2 years ago my dad came and told me for the first time “she wants to go to that place you want to” and now that i’m actually going he dears to say literally “you’re copying her, you’re jealous”  like WHAT?! how can i be jealous of someone i don’t even know, and why would i be copying her? I wanted to go way before i knew she did too. Now he’s trying to convince my mom to not let me go because like always, he’s the one who’s jealous, why does it bother him? he has to pay for absolutely non of it, it doesn’t affect him at all. My mom told him if he didn’t care for me to be happy and he responded “no, i don’t care”. Idk why these last few years he’s been acting this way, trying to put me against the rest of my family by putting words in my mouth i never said. He tries to put me against them and then forces me to talk to them and get along, he’d force me to wish my cousins a happier bday when i’ve never got along with them and they’ve never talked to me either. I don’t know why he can’t understand that we have no interest in each other yet that doesn’t mean we hate each other. The only one who’s always jealous of other people’s success is him. That’s probably why he didn’t want me to go to college either, cuz he never got to go. And instead of wanting a better future for his daughter like any other parent would, he wants me to end up miserable like him. He calls me stupid and immature, he wants me to grow up but not too much, he keeps repeating things like “you’re already 18” all of the time. No matter what i do he always has a complaint while no one else in the family seems to ever be bothered by my actions cuz i’ve literally done nothing for them to be. He talks so well about my brother and his side of the family as if i were less than all of them when in reality i’ve done so much more. I can’t help but feel like he hates me or something. Why does he treat me so badly?

Family

Hi sir 

Addiction

So I'm in a relationship with this guy it's been 1.4 we are together.. We both love each other really very much yeah we do fight sometimes and get back as well he is a really nice guy.. But the thing is I feel like keeping our relationship private like everyone knows about it in our contacts but i don't feel like posting photos and all from each day whenever we meet and he is like post story and take a snap and all.. I too used to love to show my relationship on social media but now I feel that it should be private instead of showing everyone coz my frnds they never post a story or a snap together everyone knows about them.. What are your thoughts ppl? 

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts