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@aman07

I’m feeling very low today.
I don’t know why this is but I daydream about suicide a lot. I don’t have any particular reason. I feel I’m worthless and useless. Nobody made me feel like this nor I faced any trauma. Still I feel this way.
Sometimes I’m able to get out of suicidal thoughts but not today. I’m crying alot, thinking of being a waste and bringing shame to my parents by not succeeding in my studies.
I know these feelings are not permanent but it feels very real.
I get an urge to make myself cry by thinking about ways to do suicide and reading some sad stories on internet.
I’m fed up with myself. I want these thoughts to stop nagging me. But it seems I’ll have to live like this. I tried to talk about my suicidal thoughts to my parents but stopped because I don’t have specific reason for this. I don’t understand what to do.

6 replies
Anonymous

You just needs someone to talk to about everything… it’s really important to vent out, crying is good as well. Please also try watching some motivational/inspirational videos on youtube too. Avoid reading sad stories as it may trigger some emotions, read those stories about people overcoming their suicidal moments in their lives, you will get some ideas to help you.

Just to share, during this lockdown season, I’ve realized so many things in my life, I find myself crying every night because I felt so down, I don’t have a good career, my life has no directions, no future plans in life 😔 but I make sure to avoid having suicidal thoughts coz it won’t solve my problems, just think of ur family and friends dear, it’s ourselves who will help us surpass this seasons of our lives, nothing’s permanent. Cheer up! 😊 you can talk to me here.

@aman07

I’m really grateful for your comment :). I recognize my emotions and my actions to make myself cry and I can get out of it too, but my whole day gets wasted im this.

I’ve similar situation about myself that you have written. I’m a student and I don’t see any direction or any future for myself. I don’t really know what I want. I’m just living for my parents.

But you’re right, suicide is not going to solve problems.
I want to change too, I just don’t understand from where to start.

As far as about sharing my feelings, I feel comfortable writing here where nobody knows me. I tried sharing this with my brother and a close friend,but I ended speaking something else. I feel I’ll just burden them with my problems.

I know it’s just me who can help myself, but comments like yours are really helpful for cheering me up a little. I thank you for that and hope you will feel better too :)

@isaiah2004

As of 2011, the Environmental Protection Agency set the value of a single human life at $9.1 million. Meanwhile, the Food and Drug Administration put it at $7.9 million — and the Department of Transportation figure was around $6 million.

Don’t you think Like that You have everything you need to start

@isaiah2004

or Start over

@devu

Bro these feelings are just feelings and they are temporary.
You just need to ask one damn simple question to yourself Aman and i.e do I want a life like this? Is it ok for me to stay like this. Aman remembers all those glorious days of happiness and proud days of achievements which you had achieved so far, and you will instantly realise the real meaning and value of your life Aman…
Bro you are complete in yourself you will realize it soon just close your eyes and think only about yourself and your precious life.

@aman07

Thank you for your reply. I’m really grateful for that :)

I do ask myself whether I want to live with such thoughts. The answer I get from within is NO. I really want to change.

I recognized these emotions last year and recognized a need for change. Before that I was convinced that I deserved to feel this way.

I try to make changes. But one incidence crashes my entire confidence and motivation for life. I feel tired of this terrible failures after days of making myself feel better.

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