Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

Dunno!! Maybe just to escape this mental pain I’m suffering from since last night

Tell me about this mental pain.

Anger, depression, and Rebellious thoughts

Hey,last time I remember you’d none of this trait.
Why have you been changing.

I don’t know why but it happens more often at least once or twice a month I go through these episodes

Your birthdays is 4th Nov,96,right.
Need to check your biorhythm pattern.

Nah It’s sept 2002

Argument with my family

And you wanna punish them by hurting yourself?

Yess I want to

And at what extent are you planning to hurt yourself?

I usually think of harming myself or in fact killing my self, but all I do is scratching my wrist with some sharp object how coward of me

Kabhi aisa nii lagta ki kisi din gusse mei aake zaada hurt hogye aur wo undo na hopaaye? Ye gussa aake chalaa jaaega pr wo damage undo na hopaaye toh?

Wouldn’t you miss your life and regret ki ye train toh aur lambi jaani thi ache nazaare aane the aage jaakr…but kuch bumps ki wajeh se tum uss train se pehle kood gye…abb tum train ko ache jageh se jaate de rhe hogr fir but bss tum uss train mei nii hoge… Won’t you regret?

Ghussa ata hai Arguments or tantrums ko or misbehaving ko realise krti hun uspr guilty hoti hun usko undo krna chahti hun but jo khudko harm krti uspr nhi hota Guilt ya us damage ko undo krny ki wish

I do make plans to kill my self but I can’t I’m afraid of dying yet i want to kill myself when I go through these Episodes

7 mins have passed…what is going on in your mind now? Still hustling yaa kuch hua shaant? Yaa already scratched?

Still hustling:/

Whenever I go through these episodes…I listen to music or start watching Netflix…mai sochta hu ki kuch waqt ke haalat ki wajeh se mai apna itni der takk khoon kyu jalne du kyu sadness experience karu…limited life h yaa toh ye time khush hoke guzaar lo yaa sad hokr…sad hone is easy and khush hona is hard…but khush hone mei zaada maza aata h…toh I do pursuit for happiness…koi haalaat tha argument hui…ab nii ho rhi…jitna bi time mil sake usmei mai khush krta hu khuddko mind divert krta hu ki dwell na karu…kyuki kal fir koi argument hojaani h…toh kal sad ho lenge…tabb takk toh hasslu…toh sad~happy~sad~happy chalta rheta h…mauka milte hi jo bi resource h mere paas ussmei se mai khud ke liye khushi nikaalta hu…