I’m at a stand-still in life. Not a cross-roads…I feel that I would have options if so. But no, a dead-end rather…is how I perceive my situation. O’m one who has come to be rather negative…almost toxic in my thinking. I believe I have pushed others away, as an affect…leaving me isolated …both from pandemic…physically and emotionally.
I’m 26 with past-traumas, leaving me mentally and phydically scarred. I believe perhaps I developed dreams of grandeur in art from a young age…that I somehow truly believed I could exact…due to practice and support from others who believed in me…well somehow down my rabbit-hole of a life…I felt thaty confidence had slowly been ripped away…from sexual abuse…leading to physical flaws…and confidence just dropped to an ultimate 0. I feel that somehow, I should still try to persevere in my wishes…because I have nothing else going for me…but then I realize… I have no confidence to enact it…so I’m left with no motivation. I just feel so alone, I have no other reason for writing than to just vent…even somehow as I’m eriting this I know there are others who feel the same…and I feel guilty for feeling the way I do…for feeling angry…for feeling jealous of others…for growing older as I don’t have a direction…for being afraid of the world…is there a time to just call-it quits on a dream? Even when you feel you want it so badly…but the time has passed by…and still continues…I already have so many regrets…but I’m still wrought with anxiety for the future.
What are you currently doing?
Keep your self busy and self centred in something that negative thoughts doesn’t effect you in any mean. And try to stay positive, do things that interest you.
You are allowed to feel negative and angry but you are also allowed to go after your dreams and not give up. Difference is you have to allow yourself to do so, it’s easier said then done especially when it all feels like going down hill but try to focus more on the positive things in life. Whatever you’ve gone thru has made you stronger and I believe you will get thru this and be happy &successful. Believe in yourself also. Focus on everything that makes you happy.