Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

share your deepest feelings and emotions in a safe and supportive environment.

⚕️Depression

🧑Anxiety

😰Stress

💗Relationships

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@omkesh

I’m 22 years old boy, a college student and I don’t know whether my problem seems legit to anyone or not. I have both male and female good friends but still, I cant share this problem with them as I don’t want to be seen as weak or to be judged.
I studied in boys school till 12th so I’m shy and introvert. Now I want to change myself and learn everything I missed in my life cause they seem more mature and have more understanding of other aspects of life.

It feels I’m lonely and depressed and I can’t focus on anything and I’m mentally disturbed, I want to get out of this situation as soon as possible. I’m craving to live a normal life.

Actually all of my friends are in a relationship since college or since school days and some of them found true love, and I have never been into any relationship until now. Also, I didn’t felt anything like that but, suddenly from last 1 year, I have a very strong feeling to get into a relationship and to be loved. I liked two girls from my college but one is committed and I think another one like me as a friend only, but I controlled my feelings for them.
Wherever I see, everyone is in a relationship. I tried Facebook, Insta, tinder, and a few more dating apps but could find anyone who wanna love me.
Whenever I see either a couple or lovers I feel sad also any friend of mine talks about or makes fun of my single life I feel hurt to the very core.
Now life seems meaningless to me. I don’ want to live anymore also don’t want to die.
A few times I tried to cry in the bathroom but not even a single drop of tears came out, this feels more suffocated.

I know 3-4 boys who are friends (distant), they had slept with many girls and still continuing the same, this makes me feel broken and helpless since they are doing this just for fun. But I can’t even get a single girl who wanna love me. Am I that bad? Do I look that bad? Will someone love me ever? I’m losing my self-esteem day-by-day!
I can’t live with these feelings and emotions. Whenever I think of suicide a picture my family appears.
To distract from all these I started the workout, learning guitar, and dance, still I can’t. After a few days again the situation becomes the same!

I don’t know what to do. Please let me know how to handle myself and get out of this situation.
Thank you for your help in advance.

2 replies
@bitterrain

You know I am going through the same shit as you do. All of my friends have a dozen of boys who are courting them. And while my cousins have boyfriends now. And while I still have none. But you know I always think about that I am still not enough. And you know what I was wrong because I am finding who’s going to love me but I can’t even love myself. So I suggest for you. You should love yourself more and boost your confidence. And the time will come, girls will be the one to get near you. You should wait you know and enjoy being single for now. Love yourself. #insertjustinbieber’ssong

@winterangel101

I am 15 and a girl and I understand what you feel. I listen to music that rewrites my feelings, I dated one boy but to be honest I loved him but felt like he only loved me for one thing so I am no longer in that relationship. I try to understand others to the best of my abilities but the only person I don’t understand is my self. I write stories but get lost in the words and no thoughts run through my mind that leaves me empty, I draw but get lost in the blank pages. Its never put fault for the feelings and hanging around our friends afraid to speak our mind, but sometimes for me knowing someones beside me helps me understand once I lose them I’m back to square one. I understand you…

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