I’m 22 years old boy, a college student and I don’t know whether my problem seems legit to anyone or not. I have both male and female good friends but still, I cant share this problem with them as I don’t want to be seen as weak or to be judged.
I studied in boys school till 12th so I’m shy and introvert. Now I want to change myself and learn everything I missed in my life cause they seem more mature and have more understanding of other aspects of life.
It feels I’m lonely and depressed and I can’t focus on anything and I’m mentally disturbed, I want to get out of this situation as soon as possible. I’m craving to live a normal life.
Actually all of my friends are in a relationship since college or since school days and some of them found true love, and I have never been into any relationship until now. Also, I didn’t felt anything like that but, suddenly from last 1 year, I have a very strong feeling to get into a relationship and to be loved. I liked two girls from my college but one is committed and I think another one like me as a friend only, but I controlled my feelings for them.
Wherever I see, everyone is in a relationship. I tried Facebook, Insta, tinder, and a few more dating apps but could find anyone who wanna love me.
Whenever I see either a couple or lovers I feel sad also any friend of mine talks about or makes fun of my single life I feel hurt to the very core.
Now life seems meaningless to me. I don’ want to live anymore also don’t want to die.
A few times I tried to cry in the bathroom but not even a single drop of tears came out, this feels more suffocated.
I know 3-4 boys who are friends (distant), they had slept with many girls and still continuing the same, this makes me feel broken and helpless since they are doing this just for fun. But I can’t even get a single girl who wanna love me. Am I that bad? Do I look that bad? Will someone love me ever? I’m losing my self-esteem day-by-day!
I can’t live with these feelings and emotions. Whenever I think of suicide a picture my family appears.
To distract from all these I started the workout, learning guitar, and dance, still I can’t. After a few days again the situation becomes the same!
I don’t know what to do. Please let me know how to handle myself and get out of this situation.
Thank you for your help in advance.