if you're going through hell, why would you want to stop there?

it only seems so
it's hard but it's always better to keep your head above water 

Because it’s seems impossible to get out of this hell. 
So I stopped trying to save myself from drowning 

Life

Someone who want to confess? 

Affirmations

I dont think it's possible for anybody to love me.

Why good people are always taken away from us?

3am Thoughts

Hope y’all had a nice day or night :>❤️

Okay its been almost a era that I've stop ranting here but i would love to do today- cause im filling up so much that, now i really wanted to say it out loud
.
Well things were pretty much f'ed up lately..and i never really think that i would decide something that i never ever thought of..or even dreamt of-- well idk why I always get to the end of something which i never expected of. Well this time..for the first time .i chose something by myself and being faithful that whatever will happen,we are gonna try it our best innit, last 2 years of me isolating at home .. doing something that i really wanted to do, to the stage of where ive fallen back that i dont wanna do this or even feeling like doing it at some point i was so much frustrated and lost..about WHAT WAS I REALLY MADE FOR..well for the record im still confuse and really lost about what i really wanna do in life ..but this time the good part is..i take it something to even start and not sulking which i did for almost two years..ahh sigh , grieving took a lot of time ..
Its been hard tbh ..where i really didnt felt a human interaction with new people..or even with my closed ones aka my friends..well i do meet em but once in a year is obv so..odd and less..right..but now that ive chose something to do.. and im happy for a while, obv it will take time to get through of phase where even making new friends is hard 'well we all agree its hard right to make good friends' 
And from extro to bring a intro..
Last two years really change a lot in me..and im not really sad sad about it..but im happy in way that it was needed..the change was needed..the realisation was needed..i hope that the upcoming years do make me realise my worth about what i really wanna do in my life  ..its overwhelming to dropped your dream ..and emotionally its just -- its heart wrecking ik it really is....but ig it wasn't meant for me..what if its not everything i dreamt that would be..thosee dreams might never really for me..and once a great man has said 'eugene aka Flynn rider aka tangled character' have said that 
'That's a good part ig
We get to go find a NEW DREAM ✨'
And im so much happy to get this thought trust me, im really happy for me..
Yeah some days might feel so overwhelming to me where all those doubts came up again about am i not good enough!?...but its a cycle!!..and ive lot more to go through but hey 
 its okay. 
Its okay abbiee..you will got thiss ..like everytime youu doo..
And crying is nottt someone's weakness but a way of feeling every emotions ..and not everybody can do that..you feeled everything..from wrecked to even get happy with a small act... seeing kids happy.. listening to your fav songs.. eating your fav food .. getting those kikat waffles ..to window shopping in miniso ,seeing someone's who are being happy and loud that they dont care about others eyes.. seeing people being kind.. having those small convos with rickshaw uncle and those laughters..and tbb this things arent small..last but not the least
You are loved 🖤
'to love and to be loved' ahh my hearts smiles that its okay..things will beee finee..causeeee itss really going fine OMG AHH FINALLY
(bgm: birds of the feather 💙 🎶)
With lots of love
A. 



My mom threatened me with a huge knife when I was a kid and hit me everyday. I was so scared of her that I couldn't even talk about my tuition teacher who m***sted when I was 13. When I brought this up today, she says I'm over dramatic and make a scene out of everything. I was wearing inappropriate clothes was her conclusion. I was wearing a salwar suit with a ridiculously thick dupatta. I have 2 more incidents as such and never spoke about those. I don't think I will ever talk about that again. I'm a single mother. She taunts me that I'm divorced because I voice out my opinions and being a womean should keep my mouth shut. When a woman doesn't have the freedom of talking about her issues to her mom then where would she go.

Harassment

Poya yov. Vazhkaiyavdhu mayiravdhu

Overthinking

Well I am feeling like giving up on anything, I have not been able to move on from a freaking one-sided thing and I am scared of loving someone. Can I get some suggestions how can I overcome this problem of mine??

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts