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@meera

If u ever get an option between ur family and ur loveโ€ฆwhat will you choose?

As a girl Iโ€™m asking, either u will choose ur parents whom u have to leave one day by getting married to someone else or u will choose ur love with whom u have spent so many years of happinessโ€ฆ

I really need to know if m doing right by choosing my love rather than choosing my family

Ur suggestions and advices can make someoneโ€™s life!!!

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Profile picture for Now&Me member @avtar
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13 replies
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Anonymous
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It depends on you. There is no right or wrong choices. It is all situational. For a woman living in a toxic family, finding the right partner who treats her the way she should be would be making the right choice if she chose her partner. On the other hand, giving up your family for temporary happiness without having a long term thought/idea/goal and choosing a partner who is not supportive would be a wrong choice. If youโ€™re from India, we still emphasize on family connectedness. If you get married taking the blessings of your elders, youโ€™ll have one less mental burden. If the guy is oh-so-good that he doesnโ€™t even compare to your now family, you should get married to him.
If I were in your position, I would try to convince my parents. Because they may not be perfect but the bond is strong. But if the guy were to be the best and my parents were being unrealistically against the marriage, I would think of going against them. It depends on the partner. Coz 80% of your happiness comes from your spouse/family. Isnโ€™t it what we look for when we are looking for a partner?
Good luck!

@meera
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Thank you so much
I felt good reading ur response

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Anonymous
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Youโ€™re welcome. Hope everything turns out well for you.

Profile picture for Now&Me member @avtar

Avtar @avtar

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I think lov cum arrange is the best way now if this will not happen then I suggest you to go with your parents reason fir this - in this world only parents are the persons who love you without any expectations like they love you just for your happiness.

So noone who loves you like this can think bad for you โ€ฆ!

Suppose you chose your love instead of your parents in that case what will happen you might be loose your parents rights and .1% if your partner will not support you as you want like after 2-3 yrs coz ye pyar ka bhoot jada nahi chlata one day that moment will definitely come when everyone think about their self so at that moment what will you do ? Adjusting or just adjust your self.?
If you believe in God - as per our spiritual books there are 4 type of Guru for us in this world

mother
Father
Teacher
And true spiritual master

Now choice is your who is better one to believe your self less parents who love you just for your happiness and without expecting anything
Or
Your loved one where you both having expectation from each other what will happen if your expectations will never come true after some time ???

At that moment you didnโ€™t even ask help from your parents

You know life is very small and we are so hurry to take steps.

I suggest you will definitely discuss with your parents for your choice each and every goid bad or right wrong things of it and then with your parents suggest take decision for your life.

Advice never ever initiate by your self to approach your parents just wait for the right time and ask your lover to come up with your family to approach your parents for you.

@meera
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He has already made efforts for us in front of my family as well as with his family, he had fought for us and took standโ€ฆand have tried to explain our families about our relationship but nobody is understanding our bond

Anyways thank you for your suggestion!!!

Profile picture for Now&Me member @avtar

Avtar @avtar

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I would recommend, wait for some time and try to convince your parents through his abilities but at the end if nothing will work then go with your parents side otherwise you will regret till your last breath.

Bcoz everyone will definitely get someone as their life partner but value of parents are not replaceable.

Rest is your personal call.

Good luck ๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿป

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Anonymous
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Is that intercaste marriage or he is not financial secure what is the issue. Why ur family is not accepting him

@meera
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Financially not stable, itโ€™s not intercaste

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Anonymous
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Okayโ€ฆ see i am telling my experience may be you got some idea. I was in same situation 5 months ago. He was not financial secure but in same caste. I earns only 15000 Rs. Thats why my family rejected him. We made many efforts but didnโ€™t get success. Then after 1 month his family forced him to marry another girl and he got married. Till now i cry sometimes when i thought about him. I miss him because we really love each other. I choosed my family because i am in joint family i my mother always struggled for me. She always fight for me. And i had choosed him she may not speak up in this family for whole life. I has moved on but i am still there. And have no one with whom i can speak and tell how much i miss him. I suggest if he loves me and u have 100% faith on his love, (Here 100% means 100% not 90%. ) and he can be financial secure im future, make his family understood that u r good girl. Then force ur family anyhow to marry him bt donโ€™t choose court marriage option. I know at this time ur mind would not be working. Remember u r gonna to miss both if u would choose one. Give ur 100%. Do whatever you can do to make ur family understand. If not possible then, then if you both can wait 1 or 2 years. Then take ur tym and both work hard and be successful then ask ur family. See if he really loves u he will do it. And i am 200% sure ur family will not reject him after that.

@meera
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Iโ€™m really sorry to hear that, that u r not with ur love nd u chose ur familyโ€ฆ itโ€™s really difficult to leave ur love and I have no guts to live without him

But I really appreciate what u did and the way u r living without loveโ€ฆ I hope u find ur love soon
May God bless you

@meera
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Why didnโ€™t u took time??
To make ur family understand and give some time to ur relationship so that he can make himself financially stableโ€ฆ

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Anonymous
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I talked to his family to not get him married now and i will marry him. Just give us 2 years we will get success and we will marry them but none of him and his family listened me. He was 4 year elder than me and his mother was saying that we can allow you both to marry now but canโ€™t delay his marriage. Also he didnโ€™t wait for me because he loves his family and canโ€™t be with me against his family.then it all ends till now i could not get who was wrong at that time.

@meera
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I guess family is the only reason for this, they should have understand ur loveโ€ฆ This is really saddening why parents donโ€™t understand our situation, they think about their situation society and their respect but coz of these things what weโ€™re facing they never understand

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