Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

If anyone can drop in and tell me your thoughts or any advice would be great! Im currently conflicted because at the moment I might be going through social anxiety but im not fully sure because im not diagnosed. I have trouble allowing people into my lives because it can be very scary for me. I have this girl friend that is sweet and understanding and we talked like every other day but every time we got off the phone with each other or after hanging out I would over think to the point that it would put me in a bad mood and it would make me want to distance myself from her. I recently texted her telling her that I’ll be taking a break from talking to her because I need some time to heal. I’m also going through some depression and I was tired of faking like I’m okay towards her. Now I feel bad and I feel like our friendship won’t recover because I’m trying to push myself away from her so that I don’t get these uncomfortable feelings every time I hang out with her or talk to her. A part of me wants a friend because a friendship can be a beautiful thing and a part of me is too scared to have one because it can be a risk of something going wrong and me or her getting hurt and also I’m not sure if I always want to be uncomfortable around her or talking to her. Me being the person I am, someone who doesn’t trust anyone or can’t open up much to someone because most of what I do is based on fear. I’m so conflicted.